If You Have Nothing Nice to Say, Then…

family, humor, lessons learned, writing 2 Minutes

It was one of the life lessons my parents taught me at a young age; if you’ve got nothing nice to say about someone or something, then don’t say anything at all.

It came back to me tonight as I was waiting to pick up a pizza.

Last week, I had ordered a pizza from the same place and they told me it would be ready in 20 minutes. I got there in 20 minutes and ended up waiting for nearly another 20 minutes.

So tonight I thought I would plan for this; I ordered 20 minutes earlier than usual, and I was told it would be ready in 30 minutes. So I got there at the 30-minute mark and ended up waiting ANOTHER 30 MINUTES.

As the minutes dragged on, I kept thinking about the Yelp review I was going to post when I got home.

WORST SERVICE EVER!!! BUNCH OF LIARS!!!! OVERPROMISED AND UNDERDELIVERED!!!! NEVER AGAIN!!! AVOID THIS PLACE AT ALL COSTS!!!!

But then those words from my parents came back to me.

I had nothing nice to say, so I shouldn’t say anything.

The more mature way to handle this would be to simply not use the restaurant again. There are certainly lots of other pizza places to choose from. There’s no need to share my anger on Yelp.

I then began to realize that it seems as if many people were never taught this lesson, or if they were, they have chosen to ignore it.

Review sites and comment sections are often filled with people expressing their anger about someone or something, and using nasty language to do so.

I’m glad I didn’t fall victim to such behavior, at least this time. I will admit there have been times I have said some less than flattering things about other people or places over the years, but I think I’ve gotten better.

I think what’s needed in such moments of anger and frustration is a moment or two of stepping away from the situation, taking a deep breath, and re-assessing how we should respond.

And there’s always humor, as evidenced in the Sebastian Maniscalco clip below, where he talks about restaurant reviews. Adult language…

So no 18-page Yelp review from me, even though I’ve got the time to do so now that I’m not constantly checking my stats…

*image from YouTube

Published by Jim Borden

A 60-something guy trying to figure out the world, and his place in it. Happily married for 40-plus years, three wonderful sons. Accounting teacher, fitness enthusiast, blogger, reader.

Published

47 thoughts on “If You Have Nothing Nice to Say, Then…”

  2. Reviews can be somewhat reliable, but often a business has changed hands, and the old reviews involve people who no longer work there. I’m not one who typically leaves reviews, but I think you can be honest and tactful at the same time if the service was poor.

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  3. I do look at reviews especially for restaurants and hotels or goods but am pretty good at sussing out the ones who really have nothing constructive to say and look at an average…I also was brought up to keep it closed if I had nothing nice to say…I have also left sites because of the constant nitpicking…You have raised a good point Jim šŸ™‚ Enjoy your weekend šŸ™‚

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  5. My husband would never post public review like to complain, but he will make the workers who horrible service close to tears by the time he leaves. He has way with words that makes you admire or hate him. I felt both when we first met. šŸ˜‚

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  6. Awww, Jim, do you have to keep reminding me that I never check my stats. I always have such good intensions to do it after I read your posts and then I never remember to do it. I can’t be bothered to waste energy on complaining about bad service. I live in South Africa, the service is nearly always bad. I have low expectations and am pleasantly surprised when it is better than expected.

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  7. That tried and true adage has often kept me from speaking out when what I had to say was not complimentary, but I more often associated it with speaking about people. When it comes to reviewing goods or services, then I think a honest opinion is worthwhile whether complimentary or not. Some times these reviews are the only thing that an absentee owner comes into contact with. I would not write a horrible review about how a puddle decided to spring up in the street, but I would be nice enough to warn you about it if I could. Great post where I can see points for both sides of the argument.

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    1. I like your perspective, separating the negative talk about a person vs a business. And you’re right, such feedback may be the only feedback the owner gets. I’m going to wait post covid-19, give them anther chance, and see what happens…

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  10. I think you did well to refrain – it could have ended badly! We have a comedian here called Joe Lycett who specialises in making complaints. If you check him out on YouTube there are many examples – I particularly like the one about him getting a parking ticket.

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    2. I just watched two different clips about him getting a ticket. One dealt with getting a ticket because he had punched in the wrong city code on his app, and the other dealing with parking in a taxi rank. I like his style of humor!

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  11. I tend to just not patronize a business who has shown me bad service more than once. I don’t complain online but I do tend to tell my friends about it, so I guess I am doing my own grassroots complaining. what I do love to go is write or say face to face, when I’ve had excellent service or experience.

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  12. I hope my laughter doesn’t disturb anyone still sleeping in on a Saturday morning. Gosh, if I write 18-page dissertations on anything, I wouldn’t have time to write much else. And then my blog would become as irrelevant as the dissertations.

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  13. Good post! So tempting to want to spout off at times when we have a bad experience but what good does it actually do?
    Anf like you said there are plenty of other pizza places to go too, so why worry about the bad one.
    Wow! You don’t check your stats as often?? More time to just relax, eh? And to ask questions on certain posts? LOL! šŸ˜‰.

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  16. I was taught the same thing, on my blog here is my approach to restaurant reviews……If I find a restaurant is not up to par on food or service I will write a condensed blog and send it to the owner, so that hopefully they can learn from it. I do not write negative blogs, but at times have added constructive comments.

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    1. That seems like quite a reasonable approach; I am going to take a break for a while, and try them again when things are a bit more back to normal. If there is still an issue, your advice seems to be the way to go. Thanks!

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  17. Well said. And hard words to live by in this day and age (though I try). And a thought, rather than leaving a bad review, if something needs fixing and/or you are going to take your custom elsewhere, let them know why. (Leave them a note, or actually tell the manager.) Give them the chance know why you are no longer purchasing, and maybe they can fix it.

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    1. I am going to take a break for a while, and try them again when things are a bit more back to normal. If there is still an issue, your advice seems to be the way to go. Thanks!

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