I received the following email today:
Hi Jim,
The University of Pennsylvania has an opening for a Research Track Associate and/or Full Professor Division of GI, Hepatology and Nutrition in their Philadelphia, PA location. We thought you might be interested in this opportunity. To explore this further you’ll find more details and the application instructions on the job details page below.
It is a job that I am completely unsuited for, but if they think I might be interested, I may have to check it out, especially if it involves a pay raise.
It would make for an interesting interview.
Interviewer: What do you know about the University of Pennsylvania?
Me: The Palestra is the greatest place to play college basketball in the country.
Interviewer: Tell me about your approach to teaching nutrition.
Me: Anyone in my class who does not become a vegan gets an F. Vegans get an A.
Interviewer: So tell me where your writing has been focused lately.
Me: Bubblegum music, bathroom habits of people in the U.K. and the U.S., flibbertigibbets, Meat Loaf…
Interviewer: awkward silence
Me: taking advantage of the lull in the conversation, I use my phone to check my WordPress stats
Interviewer: OK, we will be in touch. Do you have any questions?
Me: Could you tell me what Hepatology is?
*image from The Daily Pennsylvanian
This is ace Jim.
LikeLiked by 1 person
It brings to mind the email I got from the tRump campaign that basically asked me: How much more do I want to contribute to MAGA.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I haven’t got one of those; it would ruin my day…
LikeLike
thanks, Josie. that email just lent itself to something just as silly… 🙂
LikeLike
Well played. Staffing contractors cast a big net. The Palestra is a year older, but Hinkle Fieldhouse is the best basketball facility in the country. 😉
LikeLiked by 1 person
I just read that part of Hoosiers was filmed at Hinkle, so that’s a nice feather in its cap. But nothing beats the intimacy of the Palestra. It’s just a shame that some of the great traditions that took place during games have been banned…
LikeLiked by 1 person
Hoosiers did a poor job of showing what Hinkle is like. The entire atmosphere of high school basketball games with 13,000 screaming fans in the state tournament or otherwise is unmatched at any level that I’ve seen. Seriously. College games at Hinkle (Butler) aren’t close. The Palestra may indeed be the best place for college games. At any rate, your interview is hilarious! 😄
LikeLiked by 1 person
I would love to see one of those high school games. And thanks, it was a fun post to write…
LikeLiked by 1 person
I should have used past tense because seeing a high school game with 13,000 screaming fans at Hinkle will have to be on video because the heyday of Hinkle Fieldhouse was the 50s, 60s and 70s and before. That was the days of single class high school basketball, and those games were the biggest sporting events in town. I miss those days and games. The state tournament moved to Market Square Arena and now Banker’s Life Fieldhouse. It is the only NBA arena with Fieldhouse in the name – an homage to Hinkle. I’ve seen a lot of basketball in my time in person and on TV. Hinkle high school basketball was the best basketball experience I’ve seen. The Palestra is the same vintage as Hinkle. I’m sure its history and design make it an amazing place to watch basketball. I’d love to see a game there.
LikeLiked by 1 person
that’s a shame to see something like that fade away. the palestra used to have college triple-headers 60 years ago. I finally got to go to a game a few years ago – it was great…
LikeLike
LOL! I think you would def get hired! And yes what is hepatology? 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
I’ll look it up if they hire me… 🙂
LikeLike
Wow, Jim…I love the way your mind works 🙂 A fun post …:)
LikeLiked by 1 person
that email just screamed for such a response… 🙂
LikeLike
I like your mercenary attitude toward a pay raise. But what else should be expected from a professor of business accounting? It sounds like they don’t care about your qualifications, so don’t sweat the interview. I say, go for it.
LikeLiked by 1 person
the worst that could happen is that I just continue to teach accounting…
wait…
now I really want this job 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
I wish I could have been a fly on the wall (pre-COVID, of course) for this interview. Your latest writing should have locked up the job. 🤣
LikeLiked by 1 person
can flies get COVID-19? I’d probably get a lot of good blog posts out of such a job 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
Of course. My fly on the wall wears a mask in public. They’re smarter than humans that way. 😎
LikeLiked by 1 person
I guess we have a lot to learn from flies… 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
This was an exceptionally funny post, Jim! Your humor, delivered with its usual dry wit, is delicious. I can picture the whole interviewing scene. Don’t forget to mention that you are also willing to coach the collegiate juggling team!
LikeLiked by 1 person
thanks, Brad. as soon as I saw the email, the blog started to write itself. And maybe I’ll spring the juggling thing on them if I am one of the final candidates… 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
Nice! Ace up the sleeve so to speak…😁
LikeLike
it sounds like you are a perfect fit. when will you begin in your new position?
LikeLiked by 1 person
we are still negotiating the final details of the contract. They said I can’t blog about any of the patients I see – that may be a deal breaker… 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
that certainly could be an issue
LikeLiked by 1 person
they kept talking about HIPAA, or something like that…
LikeLiked by 1 person
I think hepatology is the study of jazz and cool cats in the 1950s. On the bright side, at least they addressed you in the way that you prefer 😉
LikeLiked by 1 person
now that sounds like a job you should apply for!
And you are quite observant about the name!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Sorry, no, I’ve never been remotely interested in jazz, except as a cure for insomnia…
They did at least get that right 😊
LikeLiked by 1 person
I think you’re jealous becuase jazz started in the U.S. 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
No, you’re very welcome to keep it! 😎🎷🎹🤮
LikeLiked by 1 person
but how will you get to sleep then? 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
Don’t worry, I’ll manage somehow without that tuneless rubbish 😉
LikeLiked by 1 person
You just reminded me of this: https://youtu.be/MsQYzpOHpik
Btw, Theydon Bois is actually the name of a place a couple of miles from where I live 😂
LikeLike
Hey, you’re moving back to Pennsylvania. Great! I mean, I feel for the kids who need to study GI, Hepatology, and Nutrition, but that’s not really your problem, is it?
Thanks for the chuckle.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I still plan to teach accounting, no matter what the name of the course is. The students can pick up that medical stuff on their own, but accounting is much harder.
And I’ve never left Pennsylvania 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
Sorry. For some reason, I thought you were in Chicago. No idea why. If you ever get in my neck of the woods, we should grab coffee. But I won’t discuss accounting with you. You don’t want to get me anywhere numbers!
LikeLiked by 1 person
if I do get out to Pittsbugh, that would be fun. And I don’t like to discuss accounting outside the classroom either! 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
It’s great to be head hunted for your dream job!
LikeLiked by 1 person
I guess I should take the line off my resume that says “I am qualified to teach anything.” 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
😂
LikeLiked by 1 person
Someone clearly did their research, not! Really a bad reflection on the institute.
LikeLiked by 1 person
or perhaps more so on the search firm that the school hired…
LikeLiked by 1 person
I’d lost my temper completely if I was the Interviewer. Safe to say, I’m not suited for the job. Hahaha 😂
LikeLiked by 1 person
I’m not suited for the job, and it wouldn’t surprise me if the interviewer lost his temper during such an interview! 🙂
LikeLike
Haha 😀
LikeLiked by 1 person
Hey Jim, I really think you nailed it. If you get the job, perhaps you can put in a good word for me.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Maybe you could be Dean of the School of Medicine…
LikeLiked by 1 person
Sounds great to me! Hopefully, the interview team will overlook the absence of science in my transcript. No pun intended!
LikeLiked by 1 person
minor detail 🙂
LikeLike
You sound qualified. Did you hear back 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
surprisingly, I have not heard back… 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person