If I worked for a newspaper, I’d want to be the guy who writes headlines.
If I worked for an ad agency, I’d want to be the guy who comes up with a slogan or a jingle.
So perhaps it’s no surprise that my favorite part of writing my blog is coming up with the headline.
Typically I save the headline writing until the end, after the blog is written and I’ve got my image, and I try to come up with something catchy that captures what the post is about but also captures readers’ attention.
Other times I’ll come up with an idea for a blog post, and try to write the headline first to give me something to focus on once I begin writing.
We’ve probably all seen headlines that were quite clever and as a result, they capture our attention and we start to read the story. Other times, headlines make us laugh, either because it has a good pun in it, or simply sates something that makes no sense. And then there are the ones that have errors in them and make us wonder ho it got past the editors.
I thought it would be fun to do a little searching and find some headlines that fall into one of these categories:
- Homicide Victims Rarely Talk to Police
- ‘We Hate Math’ Say 4 in 10 – a Majority of Americans
- Breathing Oxygen Linked to Staying Alive
- Statistics Show That Teen Pregnancy Drops Off Significantly After Age 25
- Marijuana Issue Sent to Joint Committee
- China May Be Using Sea to Hide Submarines
- Federal Agents Raid Gun Shop, Find Weapons
- Diana Was Still Alive Hours Before She Died
- Man Kills Himself and Runs Away
- Think of a Headline: 56 Point Bold Headline
- World Bank Says Poor Need More Money
- Bugs Flying Around with WIngs Are Flying Bugs
- One-Armed Man Applauds the Kindness of Strangers
- Bridges Help People Cross Rivers
- Missippi’s Literacy Program Shows Improvement
- Rooms With Broken Air Conditioners Are Hot
- State Population to Double by 2040, Babies to Babies to Blame
- Greenland Meteorite May Be From Space
- Miracle Cure Kills Fifth Patient
- Yellow Object Spotted in Sky (this might be my favorite)
- Man Found Dead in Graveyard
- Schoolgirl Crushed by Tree Made Everyone Happy
- Opera Singer Can’t Stop Farting After Surgery, Loses Job
- Planes Forced to Land at Airports
- Arizona Psychic Hit by Car Says He Never Saw It Coming
- Iceberg Lettuce Hit by Titanic Rise in Price
And the world of sports deserves its own category for the great headlines it has produced. Unfortunately, many of the great sports headlines I can’t repeat here in my family-friendly blog. Here are some of the tamer ones I have found:
- USA Wins 1-1
- Tiger Admits: I’m a Cheetah
- Super Caley Go Ballistic Celtic Are Atrocious ( after Inverness Caledonian Thistle’s shocking 3-1 Scottish Cup win over Celtic in February 2000 in a soccer match)
Baseball Pitcher Bartolo Colon has had several headlines taking advantage of his last name:
- Colon Stinky after Yankees Pounded 16-7
- Rangers Get Whiff of Colon
- Cleveland’s Colon Has Emerged Smelling Like a Rose
- Report: MLB Examining Colon Operation
and once again, some that can’t be repeated.
Who wouldn’t want a job coming up with such gems?
Sources:
*image from The Daily Edge
These are priceless, Jim. If you think yours are bad, you should try some of our local paper headlines.
LikeLiked by 2 people
I guess bad headlines are universal!
LikeLiked by 2 people
LOL! Love these!
I am with the majority of Americans who hate math!
Homicide victims not talking , Gosh! I am shocked!
LikeLiked by 2 people
I wonder if it’s the majority of homicide victims not talking, or just a few…
LikeLiked by 1 person
Hmmm…..good question! 😃
LikeLiked by 2 people
Love all those headlines!!!
LikeLiked by 2 people
there are some classics in there!
LikeLiked by 2 people
Good stuff, Jim. Here are a few more:
Man Accused of Killing Lawyer Receives a New Attorney
Poison Control Reminds Everyone Not to Take Poison
Students Cook and Serve Grandparents
Voters to Vote on Whether to Vote
LikeLike
thanks, Pete, for including some more. I wouldn’t want to be that guy’s new attorney!
and I’m grateful for that reminder from poison control!
I wonder if the people wriing these headlines are aware of what it looks like and are just going for some laughs, or if they are completely ob
LikeLiked by 2 people
thanks, Pete, for including some more. I sure would not want to be that guy’s new lawyer. And I am grateful for such reminders from poison control.
I wonder if the people who write these headlines are aware of how it sounds, or if they are completely oblivious…
LikeLiked by 2 people
Headlines are ‘wonderful things… 😉
One caught my eye a while ago: “Running just a few minutes a day reduces risk of dying”. It set me off, I’m afraid 😉
https://scvincent.com/2017/06/20/running-the-risk-of-dying/
LikeLiked by 2 people
thanks, Sue. I just read your running post, and I guess I’m guilty of being one of those people who is afraid of his own mortality. 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
I rather like the idea of knowing this life is finite…it makes every moment worth living. 🙂
LikeLiked by 2 people
good point!
LikeLiked by 2 people
I’m hopeless at titles and headlines. Maybe I’m just too impatient to let the ideas percolate before committing myself…?
But these days, if I’m too long thinking about it I forget I have an unused story somewhere waiting for a title.
LikeLiked by 3 people
maybe you should have a headline writing contest for your posts; put one up there without a headline and see what readers come up with 🙂
LikeLiked by 2 people
These are wonderful, Jim. Thank you. I appreciate the laughs.
LikeLiked by 1 person
thanks, Norah. I had fun reading them as well!
LikeLiked by 2 people
Jim, this post has made my day! It is entertaining, humorous, and full of wit. I wanted to tout my favorite, but it is impossible to pick just one as a favorite. I did love the one about the majority of Americans hating math and the misspelling of Mississippi in the literacy headline. Both classically funny! “Four out of five dentists, think the fifth dentist is an idiot!”
LikeLiked by 2 people
thanks, Brad. I’ve always wondered who that fifth dentist was as well! 🙂
LikeLiked by 2 people
Hilarious, Jim. 😂
LikeLiked by 2 people
there were some funny ones; there were some that were even funnier that I just couldn’t include…
LikeLiked by 2 people
these are so great, jim. i am a huge fan of the well-written or.inadvertently humorous headline and you’ve picked some beauties!
LikeLiked by 2 people
thanks, Beth! I always enjoy your headlines – short and sweet, and connected to your post.
LikeLiked by 2 people
i’m a bit of a minimalist in most things
LikeLiked by 2 people
me same 🙂
LikeLiked by 2 people
.
LikeLiked by 2 people
Some old favourites here but some great ones that are new to me. As for finding titles for blog posts, I’ve long since used adaptations of song or movie titles if I can – it cuts down on thinking time 😉
LikeLiked by 1 person
Bahaha! This post was great. I can’t stop laughing, They are all just so good! Poor Colon, I always feel bad for him. Lol. Thanks for the laughs, Jim!
LikeLiked by 2 people
Thanks, Kristian! And yes, poor Colon. There were a couple of others with his name that I just couldn’t pt in my blog 🙂
LikeLiked by 2 people
So much fun! This reminds me of the bit Jay Leno used to do. 😀
LikeLiked by 2 people
yes, it’s easy pickings for a post or a skit…
LikeLiked by 2 people
Hilarious! At least the “iceberg” headline was on the clever side (probably my favorite). With this additional training, I think you are ready to write headlines for your local newspaper.
LikeLiked by 2 people
the iceberg one was pretty clever. I wonder if some headline writers just have some ready to go, just waiting for the right time to use it…
LikeLiked by 2 people
Writing an effective headline is an art form. Writing many poems and short stories requires a bit different focus, but I think I would enjoy stepping into the print journalism world.
LikeLiked by 2 people
I think if you like writing, you would likely enjoy most forms of writing.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Another wonderfully entertaining post! I bet many of these headlines weren’t written to be funny. Clearly the Colon ones were written that way. Then there are ones that are funny because they are factually incorrect like “Dewey Beats Truman” if that’s the right wording.
LikeLiked by 2 people
as you note, there are lots of reasons why a headline catches our attention, usually involving humor, intentional or not!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Some of them are very funny!
LikeLiked by 2 people
yes, but I am not sure if they were intended to be!
LikeLiked by 2 people
This is great, Jim, In a previous life I was a newspaper sub editor, responsible for headlines and much more. So glad you included the Super Caley headline. Even though I am a Celtic fan, as you may have gathered, it’s one of the best headers ever. Shame about the result….cheers!
LikeLiked by 2 people
Thanks, Peter. That sounds like it must have been a fun job, at least on occasion 🙂
And I have never heard of the Super Caley headline until I was doing some research for the article. It is one of the best I’ve seen!
LikeLiked by 2 people
Yeah. Tough gig. Deadlines, accuracy, but fun too. Hope you feel my pain over celtic result…cheers
LikeLiked by 2 people
I hope you are still not holding a grudge against Caley 20 years later… 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
Ha ha, don’t worry
LikeLiked by 2 people
🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
Omg these are hilarious!!!
LikeLiked by 2 people
There were some funny ones there.
LikeLiked by 2 people
These were hysterical Jim. Thanks for the chuckles 🙂
LikeLiked by 2 people
there were some funny ones…glad you enjoyed them, Debby!
LikeLiked by 2 people
🙂
LikeLiked by 2 people