This May Not Be the Best Headline Ever, But Here Are Some That Might Be

If I worked for a newspaper, I’d want to be the guy who writes headlines.

If I worked for an ad agency, I’d want to be the guy who comes up with a slogan or a jingle.

So perhaps it’s no surprise that my favorite part of writing my blog is coming up with the headline.

Typically I save the headline writing until the end, after the blog is written and I’ve got my image, and I try to come up with something catchy that captures what the post is about but also captures readers’ attention.

Other times I’ll come up with an idea for a blog post, and try to write the headline first to give me something to focus on once I begin writing.

We’ve probably all seen headlines that were quite clever and as a result, they capture our attention and we start to read the story. Other times, headlines make us laugh, either because it has a good pun in it, or simply sates something that makes no sense. And then there are the ones that have errors in them and make us wonder ho it got past the editors.

I thought it would be fun to do a little searching and find some headlines that fall into one of these categories:

  • Homicide Victims Rarely Talk to Police
  • ‘We Hate Math’ Say 4 in 10 – a Majority of Americans
  • Breathing Oxygen Linked to Staying Alive
  • Statistics Show That Teen Pregnancy Drops Off Significantly After Age 25
  • Marijuana Issue Sent to Joint Committee
  • China May Be Using Sea to Hide Submarines
  • Federal Agents Raid Gun Shop, Find Weapons
  • Diana Was Still Alive Hours Before She Died
  • Man Kills Himself and Runs Away
  • Think of a Headline: 56 Point Bold Headline
  • World Bank Says Poor Need More Money
  • Bugs Flying Around with WIngs Are Flying Bugs
  • One-Armed Man Applauds the Kindness of Strangers
  • Bridges Help People Cross Rivers
  • Missippi’s Literacy Program Shows Improvement
  • Rooms With Broken Air Conditioners Are Hot
  • State Population to Double by 2040, Babies to Babies to Blame
  • Greenland Meteorite May Be From Space
  • Miracle Cure Kills Fifth Patient
  • Yellow Object Spotted in Sky (this might be my favorite)
  • Man Found Dead in Graveyard
  • Schoolgirl Crushed by Tree Made Everyone Happy
  • Opera Singer Can’t Stop Farting After Surgery, Loses Job
  • Planes Forced to Land at Airports
  • Arizona Psychic Hit by Car Says He Never Saw It Coming
  • Iceberg Lettuce Hit by Titanic Rise in Price

And the world of sports deserves its own category for the great headlines it has produced. Unfortunately, many of the great sports headlines I can’t repeat here in my family-friendly blog. Here are some of the tamer ones I have found:

  • USA Wins 1-1
  • Tiger Admits: I’m a Cheetah
  • Super Caley Go Ballistic Celtic Are Atrocious ( after Inverness Caledonian Thistle’s shocking 3-1 Scottish Cup win over Celtic in February 2000 in a soccer match)

Baseball Pitcher Bartolo Colon has had several headlines taking advantage of his last name:

  • Colon Stinky after Yankees Pounded 16-7
  • Rangers Get Whiff of Colon
  • Cleveland’s Colon Has Emerged Smelling Like a Rose
  • Report: MLB Examining Colon Operation

and once again, some that can’t be repeated.

Who wouldn’t want a job coming up with such gems?


Bored Panda

Orbis Design

Bleacher Report


The Spoke


*image from The Daily Edge

51 thoughts on “This May Not Be the Best Headline Ever, But Here Are Some That Might Be

  1. Good stuff, Jim. Here are a few more:
    Man Accused of Killing Lawyer Receives a New Attorney
    Poison Control Reminds Everyone Not to Take Poison
    Students Cook and Serve Grandparents
    Voters to Vote on Whether to Vote


    1. thanks, Pete, for including some more. I wouldn’t want to be that guy’s new attorney!

      and I’m grateful for that reminder from poison control!

      I wonder if the people wriing these headlines are aware of what it looks like and are just going for some laughs, or if they are completely ob

      Liked by 2 people

    2. thanks, Pete, for including some more. I sure would not want to be that guy’s new lawyer. And I am grateful for such reminders from poison control.

      I wonder if the people who write these headlines are aware of how it sounds, or if they are completely oblivious…

      Liked by 2 people

  2. I’m hopeless at titles and headlines. Maybe I’m just too impatient to let the ideas percolate before committing myself…?
    But these days, if I’m too long thinking about it I forget I have an unused story somewhere waiting for a title.

    Liked by 3 people

  3. Jim, this post has made my day! It is entertaining, humorous, and full of wit. I wanted to tout my favorite, but it is impossible to pick just one as a favorite. I did love the one about the majority of Americans hating math and the misspelling of Mississippi in the literacy headline. Both classically funny! “Four out of five dentists, think the fifth dentist is an idiot!”

    Liked by 2 people

  4. Some old favourites here but some great ones that are new to me. As for finding titles for blog posts, I’ve long since used adaptations of song or movie titles if I can – it cuts down on thinking time πŸ˜‰

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Hilarious! At least the “iceberg” headline was on the clever side (probably my favorite). With this additional training, I think you are ready to write headlines for your local newspaper.

    Liked by 2 people

      1. Writing an effective headline is an art form. Writing many poems and short stories requires a bit different focus, but I think I would enjoy stepping into the print journalism world.

        Liked by 2 people

  6. Another wonderfully entertaining post! I bet many of these headlines weren’t written to be funny. Clearly the Colon ones were written that way. Then there are ones that are funny because they are factually incorrect like “Dewey Beats Truman” if that’s the right wording.

    Liked by 2 people

  7. This is great, Jim, In a previous life I was a newspaper sub editor, responsible for headlines and much more. So glad you included the Super Caley headline. Even though I am a Celtic fan, as you may have gathered, it’s one of the best headers ever. Shame about the result….cheers!

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Thanks, Peter. That sounds like it must have been a fun job, at least on occasion πŸ™‚

      And I have never heard of the Super Caley headline until I was doing some research for the article. It is one of the best I’ve seen!

      Liked by 2 people

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