I went for my quarterly haircut today to one of those national chains, the same one I’ve used for several years now.
I never ask for a specific stylist, whoever is available is fine with me. And today was my first time to have my haircut by this particular woman.
I should have had an inkling of what it was going to be like, when her second question, after asking me my name, was “Do you color your hair?” It took me a couple of tries to understand what she was asking, not only because of her accent but because it caught me completely off guard. That’s a question I have never been asked, and I replied in the negative.
After then asking me how I wanted my hair cut, she asked me if I used any product. and I once again replied in the negative.
She then asked me if I wanted my eyebrows trimmed, again, something I’ve never had done, and I saw little need for.
A few minutes later, while cutting my hair, she asked me once again if I wanted my hair colored. I once again said no, and she replied that it would make me look younger. I said I’m fine, and that I had no interest in looking younger.
A minute later, she once again asked if I wanted any product in my hair; once again I said no.
She then took me to get my hair washed, and when we went back to the chair, she asked me for a third time if I wanted any gel in my hair. I answered no, and said I don’t really use gel.
I thought I was home free at that point. But then as she started finishing things up, she asked me what side I part my hair on. I said I don’t part my hair, I just brush it straight back.
She then started brushing it straight back and said that I would need some gel if I brush it like that, otherwise it would stand straight up and I wouldn’t look professional while I stood in front of the classroom (who knew that telling her what I did would be used against me).
I almost burst out laughing at this point, but I calmly replied that after a few days my hair would start curling up and I would be ok.
The interrogation was finally over, and my haircut was fine. The woman was also pleasant enough, so I left my usual tip, despite the aggressive nature of her questions.
All I could think was that there must have been some sort of employee incentive going on to sell extra services and products, and this stylist was all-in on the incentive program.
So if you are counting, here is the summary:
- number of times asked about getting hair colored: twice
- number of times asked if I wanted product: four times
- number of times asked if I wanted my eyebrows trimmed: once
So I just want to put this down in writing and be crystal clear, in case anyone ever has to take me for my haircut, and I can’t speak for myself.
I never, ever want any of the following:
- hair coloring
- hair product
- eyebrows trimmed
(one exception – if the stylist says they can make me look like George Clooney, then say yes to whatever is involved…)