This Probably Has Some Meaning, But I’m Not Sure What That Would Be

family, Fitness, happiness, health related issues, humor, lessons learned 1 Minute

My wife and I were out driving the other day, and I made the observation to her that whenever I saw two people out walking together, it was always either a man and a woman, or two women. It was never two guys. And most of the time, by far, it was two women.

We then saw a few more couples out walking, and every couple was two women.

I then carefully observed the walkers in our neighborhood over the next few days, and every time it held true that if it was a pair, it was either two women, or a man and a woman. Only once did I see two guys out walking together (and this is based on dozens of observations), and those two guys appeared to be Villanova students.

My dime store philosophy is that women are more social by nature, while guys are more loners. I know my wife loves to go walking with other women in the neighborhood; when I went for my daily walks this past summer, it was just me, myself, and I.

Maybe there’s nothing to it, but I found it interesting…

 

Published by Jim Borden

A 60-something guy trying to figure out the world, and his place in it. Happily married for 40-plus years, three wonderful sons. Accounting teacher, fitness enthusiast, blogger, reader.

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50 thoughts on “This Probably Has Some Meaning, But I’m Not Sure What That Would Be”

  2. I’m not surprised – unfortunately I have found almost all of my efforts to hang out with guys thwarted and have come to the realization that it’s just not worth chasing those guys anymore – unfortunately – Men can and should ask themselves that question – why are they so afraid of man to man relationships

    Very sad.

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  3. I think it might be different in other countries. American men are(were) so afraid of being thought of as gay. At least the ones I know. So it’s okay to walk and gab with a woman, but not another man. Or maybe men don’t like walking and talking as much as women so there are fewer out there.

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  5. I agree. As a proud faghag with gay male neighbors in a welcoming community, it’s interesting that men don’t walk together. Is it because they feel safe, whereas solo women don’t? Or social norms?

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  6. I agree that women are more likely to do everything in pairs or groups [even going to the bathroom – have you ever seen a man ask all the other ladies at the dinner table if they need a bathroom trip? Women always do this]. I, personally, prefer to walk solo and listen to my audio books. My three sisters and mom are not the same. If I have five minutes spare, they want to fill it with socialising and visits. I would like to have free time to write my stories and poetry or watch the clouds change shape.

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    1. Like I said, I don’t know what it means, but it was striking when I noticed it. I wonder if it might be different in different cultures, so I’d be curious if you observe it…

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      1. Haha 😄 I did a bit of observing when I went shopping and I guess you’re right. I saw more women friends together than men, but that’s probably because two men don’t usually do it together unless they’re more than friends.

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  8. I’ve walked more miles in the last year than any previous year. I like a balance of the two. I’d say, on average, I walk four days by myself and two days with a friend. About once a week, I don’t walk, but then I miss it. It doesn’t matter whether it’s a man or woman to me. There are days I prefer to be by myself (I do my best thinking when I’m walking.) and others when I really like having another person along. Lately, I’ve been taking my phone and calling friends I haven’t seen in a while.

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    1. so do you consider walking while talking on the phone to be walking alone, or with a friend. I’ll go for a short stroll around our neighborhood with my wife and our dog, but if I am going out for a walk that is meant for exercise, then I am by myself…

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      1. I consider it to walking with a friend, but it isn’t the same as walking with a friend in person. When a friend lives hundreds or thousands of miles away, it makes the most sense.

        I don’t know why this suddenly popped into my head, but I have a brother who lives in New Jersey, and he is typically an early riser. So if he decides to send me a text at 8:00 a.m., I’m getting it at 5:00 a.m. when I’m still in bed. I keep my phone by my bedside—not because I’m addicted to my phone— more out of habit. The funny thing is my hearing is awful, but I hear that ping of a text message every time.

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  9. It did not stick out to me until I read your observations, but I have witnessed much the same thing. Lots of theories could work here to explain the difference, but for me I think it is pretty simple. I think for many women, the socializing is the given part of the equation, and whether they decide to do it while walking together for some exercise or sitting around the kitchen table doesn’t make a difference for them.

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  10. I walk every day, sometimes solo to just take in my surroundings or to listen to music and think, and I often walk with someone else, most often women, though I do walk with my grands of both genders, I also walk with a small group of townies of mixed genders, and I often see men walking together, who seem to be students from the uni. women naturally reach out to keep the social connection and men tend to meet up while focusing on activities or events together. my son in law is in a male book club and the really discuss the books. maybe this next generation gets it, based upon my personal observations.

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    1. yes, it may be that the next generation understands the importance of maintaining social connections. Perhaps that’s why the pandemic might be so hard on many younger people…

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  11. Funny, I expressed the same sentiment yesterday when walking with my husband. Some men, my brother for example, when my husband asked him if he wanted to go out to dinner and a concert that I was unable attend, expressed concerns that people might think they were gay. My brother is a bit of a narrow-minded redneck. We are not close but there are a lot like him out there.

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    1. I have male friends who think the same way as your brother. It’s really too bad that some men spin it that way.

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    2. well at least your brother was up front with his reasoning, although that certainly doesn’t make that kind of attitude acceptable. A you note, he is not alone with such beliefs…

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  12. Oh, weird! My husband had the same observation a few weeks ago on one of our walks. I actually remembered several pairs of male walkers, but he was right. The majority were couples, or pairs of women. I think that some of the pairs of males that we saw on our walks were a couple as well, so that would put them in the couple category.

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  13. Safety in numbers, especially for women. This is why I like to go to the beach. I can walk the beach with Frank for a bit, but most of the time, he hikes faster and way ahead of me. Then I have my alone time and still feel safe because there usually isn’t anyone else out there for miles once we get passed the main group of people. I do agree we are more social most of the time. 🙂

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  14. Women are definitely more social and do things together more than men. Men get together for sports and even working out. I agree with some who also think safety and security is a reason why women walk or run together.

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  15. Jim, I agree with your observation. Being a prolific walker, I can’t even recall two guys walking together. Perhaps the serious male walkers enjoy the solitude and setting a challenging pace.

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  16. It’s cool that you noticed this because there are multiple studies done on it- I remember learning about it in my sociology/women and gender studies classes. It’s hard to explain in the comments section but basically usually the reason that men don’t walk together is because of toxic masculinity- if you observe this further you will notice men don’t usually sit close together like women do, sit next to each other if another space is available etc. The reason women tend to walk together is generally because it’s safer.

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  17. Chaps do go out in pairs if they have cameras! – also 3s or 4s. I see lots of pairs on the sea front with everyone doing their once a day exercise within their household or their one permitted friend. Yes lots of mixed couple and I have noticed older couples hold hands and youngsters don’t. Yes there are men in pairs, often, I am guessing son and father, brothers, gay couples, but also just chaps.

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