My wife and I have been happily married for 39 years, and during those 39 years, we have only had one bank account between us.
I think conceptually and practically it makes sense.
Conceptually, to me, it just reinforces that what’s mine is hers, and what’s hers, is mine. We’re in this together.
Practically, it just seems so much easier to have all the money going into, and out of, one account.
I was curious what percentage of married couples have a joint account, and I found a 2014 survey by TD Bank that reported 65 percent of couples had joint bank accounts. However, 42 percent of those couples also had separate bank accounts. A Bank of America report in 2018 found that 28 percent of millennials in a relationship keep their banking completely separate.
A separate research study suggests there’s a compelling reason to consider 100 percent joint pooling of bank accounts: happiness. Across five studies they reported in a working paper, University College of London’s Joe Gladstone, Notre Dame’s Emily Garbinsky and UCLA Anderson’s Cassie Mogilner Holmes found that long-term committed couples who pool all their money into joint bank accounts are happier in their relationship and less likely to break up, compared to couples that keep some or all of their money separate.
Gladstone, Garbinsky, and Holmes’ research included more than 1,000 married people and asked them to rate on a scale of 1 (not very) to 7 (very) how satisfied they are in their relationship. They found that nearly two-thirds of these participants reported having 100 percent pooled bank accounts with their spouse, and this group was the most content, with a median relationship score of 6.10. The 22 percent of participants who reported having both joint and separate bank accounts had a median happiness score of 5.82. The 12 percent of participants who keep their bank accounts entirely separate reported the lowest median level of satisfaction, 5.46.
The researchers indicate it is important for couples to perceive their possessions and financial goals as shared, and their research identifies one practical way to facilitate this: merging bank accounts.
I know there may be situations where it may make sense to have separate accounts, but I think for most couples it makes more sense to have just one joint account.
I also know many happily married couples who have separate bank accounts, so obviously doing so does not preclude a happy relationship.
I just know that having only a joint account worked for my wife and I, and there seems to be some research supporting such an approach.
What this survey seems to have failed to take into account are those couples who are now divorced, who had joint accounts. Many divorces are over financial issues. For instance, when one spouse bounces checks or draws down the account, while buying clothes or toys, and so forth, this puts a big strain on a marriage.
I think that those who manage to stay married while having a joint account, are those who have consideration for each other, and are careful how they use the account. They’re more likely to be happy anyway, just due to the level of consideration they have for each other.
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I had meant o point that out, that just like some couples who have separate accounts can be happy, the opposite can happen that couples with joint checking accounts can be in unhappy marriages. But on average, at least, the research seems to suggest that there is a causal factor with joint checking and happy marriages. That may be going a bit far in my eyes, but there may be a correlation.
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I’m far more willing to believe it as a correlation.
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same here…
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I think you hit the nail on the head about the consideration aspect!
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Maybe, but that was very considerate of the nail.
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Oh gosh!
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We have always had a joint account. I agree with the post though like you said there are situations where it may make more sense to have separate ones.
Sadly money issues is one of the top reasons for divorce. I don’t think its whether your account is joint or not that matters , as to the reasoning behind it.
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the research seems to suggest that having the same money goals and mindset is important for a marriage, and a joint account is a way of showing such cooperation…
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Dave and I have separate bank accounts. We are also responsible for different expenses. And today we are 18 years happily married so I know that works for us.
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I think that is the most important thing – finding an approach that works best for each person and the marriage…
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I think that whatever works for a couple should be the way to go. We’ve always kept a joint account, and that works for us. If I look at things objectively, I’m better with numbers than my wife, but she is far better organized. She likes being the billpayer in the family, and I trust her completely (but don’t take her for granted) to keep on top of things. It’s funny how certain jobs we divvied up while others just happened. If one of us can’t stand a job, the other one takes it on.
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I agree, finding whatever works is the key. And it is funny how certain tasks just naturally fell to one spouse or the other in our marriage as well… 🙂
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Wow thanks for sharing this Jim. You and I have a bit of similarities don’t we? We both celebrates the day we meet our life partners as anniversary and now shared accounts ❤ 😁
My husband got another account which he solely owns because it’s in Norway. But I have all the access information. I can practically robbed him and ran if I want 😁 but I won’t, gosh that was horrible thought.
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yes, we do seem to have a lot in common 🙂
that seems to make sense to have a separate account in another country, and I’m sure the thought would never cross your mind to take all the money in that account. Well, accept for this one time where you did have such a thought… 🙂
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🤣😂😂
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This is pretty interesting. Can a couple have both? I’ve been with my partner for about ten years now, and we haven’t even gotten to talking about that. We’ve been living together as well, yet this topic never crossed our minds.
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According to those surveys, it seems like many couples with joint accounts also have separate accounts. If it’s working, there’s probably no need to do anything different!
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This makes sense from the standpoint that couples that are very compatible may be more likely to have joint bank accounts and their compatibility and ability to work together leads to longer and happier marriages. The most valuable accounts, pensions, 401ks, IRAs are probably separate.
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your reasoning makes sense. and i think many of those other accounts you mention are separate accounts by their very nature.
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Yes I agree – we opened two joint accounts as soon as we were engaged – one to save and one to live on – the saving one didn’t last long! Anyway the joint account makes sense, especially if one spouse is staying at home looking after the children. I remember a friend saying her husband had to pay for the vegetables with his own money one day – seems a bit silly to have to decide who is paying for the food! When Cyberspouse became ill then he changed one acount to my name to make sure there wouldn’t be any problems after he died. But there were not any problems with the joint account , which carried on as normal with our direct debits etc. But of course joint accounts depend on trust and sometimes trust flies out the door – like a friend who found herself in dire straits as her husband spent their joint money on his new girlfriend!
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yes, those savings accounts didn’t last long for us either!
seems like cyberspouse made a smart move switching one of the accounts just to your name.
and at the heart of all of this, as you point out, is trust. whether it’s in the marriage or in money matters…
I hope you are doing well this holiday season with the lockdown. Is your family allowed to visit?
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Yes officially Covid is taking a five day break in Britain over Xmas and 3 households are allowed to mix BUT government and especially medical experts are really hoping people won’t do much mixing. My daughter’s family are going to isolate for a week and my younger son and fiancee live in an isolated farmhouse and mainly work together! But they are all a long way away and staying overnight is another thing they don’t want us to do. Most people I know are going to play safe and not visit or be visited.
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I hope Covid knows it is supposed to take a break…
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I’ve never considered having a joint back account with Terence, Jim. We have always had separate bank accounts and all our other banking activities are linked to my account. That is how Terence sets it up.
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you found what works for you and Terence – that’s the key…
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Yes, that is the key.
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You make having a joint financial account sound wonderful. I may have to start dating again!
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maybe that can be the first topic you bring up on the date… 🙂
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Now that’s funny…🤣
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Be sure and add that to your dating profile, Brad. “Enjoys walks on the beach, romantic candlelit dinners, and opening joint accounts.” The girls are sure to go wild.
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You are such a romantic Pete!
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he’s watched too many lifetime movies…
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not necessarily in that order… 🙂
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Especially if he earns a lot more than them!
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My husband’s former wife furnished her new cottage with his credit cards before she left and cleared out his bank account. He’d thought he was set up for a comfortable retirement… but we manage.
The fact that we converted both bank accounts into joint accounts (before his triple coronary bypass) demonstrates a triumph of hope over experience
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I’m sorry to hear about the former wife…
and yes, hope springs eternal…
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We have both, though our joint accounts have 95% of our money. We didn’t want to be in the position of questioning our spouses personal purchases, so we set up “red shoe” accounts for each of us that we can spend on whatever we want. As you said, this has worked well for us!
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so your spouse doesn’t know about your online sports gambling? 🙂
but yes, you found what works for both of you, and that is the key…
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While my wife and I maintain a joint checking account, my youngest daughter and her husband maintain separate accounts. While there can be pros and cons to either checking account, a good rule of thumb may come down to having a common philosophy of considerate and practical money management.
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I agree, the two people need to figure out what works best for them…
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Actually what it comes down to is, unless you are a millionaire, making sure someone in the family is managing the money properly; not knowing what’s coming in and going out can lead to disaster!
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sound financial management is critical…
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I don’t agree on this one (at least for couples who both work). My wife and I have been married for 32 years. We each have our own accounts and then we have a joint account. We each contribute to the joint every month and we pay all common bills out of that account. In our case, we each contribute the same amount to joint but this could work if couples contributed different amounts. The advantage is that we never fight about money. If she wants to go buy a new Jeep (a recent example), she doesn’t need my permission because it is her money. As long as each of us funds the joint, we don’t care what the other person does with the rest of their money. (And, if you decide you want to make sure you are doing something financially – like contributing to a 529 account or saving for retirement, you can just make this a joint expense). This may not work for everyone but it works for us.
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Hi Bob, good to hear from you. You make a good point. The key is that each couple has to have a discussion about money and figure out what works best for them. You and your wife have figured out what works for you, and it makes for a happy marriage.
I hope all is well – Happy Holidays!
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We have both and I operate all ..hubby can say with pride he has never written a check or used an ATM machine he is a cash all the way, man…it works for us 40 plus years on..he just asks do we have the money to get or do this or that…he doesn’t use a mobile phone and is the proud owner of his first-ever electronic device at the grand age of 74 yrs..he has picked it up far quicker than any of us ever thought and is now preaching to me about what he discovers online as to what is healthy for us…excuse me while I throttle him as I have been telling for years to no avail…sigh…But it all works for us…:) xx
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as you point out, you have found an approach that works for you. and to me that is the key.
so what is his first electronic device? It’s good to have another health expert in the house… 🙂
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A reader so he can read e-books and he can browse the internet and make phone calls…We were all surprised how quickly he picked it up having never even used a phone or anything…Never too old as they say, Jim …although I have had to tell him not to believe everything he reads…lol
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that seems like a good first electronic device…
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Marriage is not a one size fits all. We do have joint as well as separate accounts. What works for you may not work for me. It boils down to who is better able to manage the finances and also ensures that you both are okay financially.
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I agree 100%. The key is fining what works for your marriage, and then going with that…
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Wise words, Jim. Thanks!
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thanks, Peter!
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Interesting topic. Lol, it reminded me of a neurotic friend I once had. Her and her husband had separate bank accounts, and one was cheaper than the other. Literally, we went out for dinner together with our spouses and we got separate bills for each couple – their mandatory rule. Once the bill came, she took out a penlight and a calculator and divided up the bill between her and her husband. That was the last meal we ever had with them and not longer after I brushed them both off, lol. Yes to joint accounts and yes to a separate saving account for those who wish to keep separate money aside for whatever reasons. 🙂
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that sounds like quite the odd couple, but I guess it worked for them. As you note, that’s the key. Find a money management style that suits everyone…
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True dat! 🙂
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👍
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