I’m starting to wonder if there is a master list somewhere of the phone numbers of all the famous people in the world, and once you become one of those famous people, somebody loads all of the other famous people’s contact info on to your phone.
For example, when a golfer wins a tournament, he tells people the next day that he received hundreds of congratulatory texts, and drops the names of several celebrities. How do those celebrities have the golfer’s phone number to send him a text? I can’t even imagine that all of the professional golfers in the world have each other’s phone numbers, but I guess they do.
Or when an actress wins an Oscar, she tells the press that she was busy answering text messages all night, from people like Beyonce and Meryl Streep. How is that possible?
It seems the only viable explanation is for there to be a copy of a master cellphone list of famous people that you get when you become a member of that club.
And here are some guesses I have about the requirements to be a member of that club, and my chances of qualifying
Accomplished something notable? Fail.
More than 10,000 Twitter followers? Fail.
So the only way for me to get a hold of that list would be to buy off the dark web. But I don’t even know if it could be found there.
But if I did somehow got hold of that list, I’d spend the day texting with Springsteen, Obama, Oprah, Sebastian Maniscalco, Anna Kendrick, Tiger. The list would go on and on. Of course, the odds of any of them responding would be quite slim, but the odds of being blocked are quite high.
I guess I should set my sights a bit lower, like at least having the cell phone number of the people in the business school at Villanova. At this point, I’ve only got the contact info for about five people in the business school, out of about 200 employees.
But I’d be just as worried that if I texted one of my fellow employees, they would also block me, just like Oprah.
So maybe I’ll just keep my five names and be happy.
*image from ListToday – I realize it needs some updating…
P.S. I wonder if famous people have a secret handshake too…