Regular readers of my blog (my wife and three sons) know that I have featured Dan Pink quite often in my blog. Dan started a series of bi-weekly Pinkcasts a few years ago, and I believe I have featured every one of those Pinkcasts.
I have also read nearly all of Dan’s books (I consider A Whole New Mind one of the best books I have ever read), and his TED Talk on motivation is one of the most-watched TED talks and one I have shown in my classes multiple times over the years.
I’ve always thought Dan has been one of the most generous authors and speakers, often sharing the works of others through his Pinkcast videos.
So that is why I am happy to share the news about Dan’s latest book on Regrets.
As Dan notes in the Pinkcast video below, the book is split into three parts:
Part One – Regret Reclaimed
In this section, the goal is to get you to look at regrets differently, not as something unusual, but as something that is extremely common. 50 years of science tells us that everyone has regrets, and if we treat them properly, they can help us become a better person.
Part Two – Regrets Revealed
This section looks at the 16,000 regrets Dan collected from people around the globe – 105 countries to be exact. The analysis reveals that people have the same four core human regrets. If we understand what people regret most, we can then understand what they value the most and offer a path to a life well-lived.
I was one of the 16,000 people worldwide who shared their biggest regret in response to Dan’s request. Here is what I wrote:
My regret is that I did not make more of an effort to become friends with my work colleagues. I’ve worked at the same place for more than 30 years, and I would not consider anyone I work with to be a close friend. You know, the kind of person you would call up when you were struggling with something or someone to go grab a beer with at the last minute.
Part Three – Regret Remade
This section offers advice on what to do with your regrets: how to undo some past regrets; how to forget certain regrets; how to look back on your most important regrets so that you can extract lessons you can apply in the future, how to anticipate regrets so that you don’t make the same mistakes again.
Here is the Pinkcast:
*image from AllEventsInHarrisburg
The book will be available on February 1…
I suspect you must be feeling better if you’re back to commenting. My impression of you as a guy who takes care of himself is that you rarely are ill. Anyway, nice to have you back. I read all of your submissions while you were gone.
As far as Dan’s book goes, I would read it. I want to take a shot at the four common types of regrets. Here’s my guess: 1. Career 2. Love life/Partner 3. Family Regrets (Children, etc.) 4. Fear—Inability to change paths
I like that he includes Section 3 about learning how to utilize and learn from our past regrets. I figured my big one out a little later than I would have liked, but at least I got there—not wanting to live a life in fear and always taking the safe route.
LikeLiked by 1 person
HI Pete, it’s nice to be back to commenting; looking forward to getting caught up with yours and other’s blogs.
I think those are four good ones. And I like how you addressed one of the regrets that you had. I am trying to work on mine about the work colleagues…
LikeLiked by 1 person
Welcome back. Interesting book. I might have to check it out, but these days I feel like I have forgotten most of my regrets because they are no longer eating away at me. Or maybe I have finally moved forward.
LikeLiked by 2 people
thanks! my guess is that you have likely addressed regrets you may have once had, and moved forward…
LikeLiked by 1 person
I’ve had a successful career and marriage, and I’m usually pretty happy, so my regrets are of the little things. Like that time when I admonished a young man who was writing up my purchase at a book store, that if he used both hands he could get the job done faster. And then I saw he had a crippled hand. Even to this day, over 40 years later, that moment feels cringeworthy. I think we can learn lessons from our regrets, and those lessons can help us to make better choices in the future.
LikeLiked by 4 people
Oh my I cringe with you! But, in one way or the other, we all have had those cringe moments. Where you just wish a hole would open up in the floor and you could disappear briefly.
I still cringe at the way I broke up with a guy. We hadn’t been dating long, but I still should have told him to his face. I wrote a note, and gave it to him when we passed in the hallway. He handed me a note at the same time and I wanted to sink in a hole as I read it. I literally felt sick. He talked so highly of me and how happy he was ….
LikeLiked by 2 people
Oh wow, he must have felt crushed. And I can see why you’d feel so sick after reading his note. Yikes!
LikeLiked by 1 person
talk about awkward…
LikeLiked by 1 person
Fortunately I didn’t scar him for life! Well, I don’t think so at least. We did stay friends after some awkwardness at first!
LikeLiked by 2 people
That’s good. At least you had some skills in the damage control department.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I tried. 🙂
LikeLiked by 2 people
wow – that would have been a tough moment to deal with. I guess I was lucky to have never dealt with such issues while in high school! 🙂
LikeLike
Yes, not one of my shining moments.
LOL, trust me, I didn’t have to deal with those issues much either. Usually it was the other way around!
LikeLiked by 1 person
I went to an all-boys high school; made it easy to avoid such situations 🙂
LikeLike
Omg, that is right out of a set up for a novel or teen movie. But we really can’t help who we love and when we feel whatever love or infatuation feelings we feel ..
But in the teen movie version, no doubt, his note would give you second thoughts and the entire rest of the movie (&/or the Jane Austen book it was based on 🙂 would be about how you finally express your true feelings and he finally forgives you and wins your heart in the end!
At least IRL you and he both got over the sheer cringy, awful awkwardness of the note-passing bad timing and became friends….so many paths open up with every rejection…
In another movie version, both of you share the note passing stories with your best friends. Your bestie is so mortified for you that she makes a point of befriending him and then SHE ends up with him … one woman’s regret is another woman’s opportunity!
And HIS best friend is like: Oh man that’s harsh. But hey, that means she’s available? ha!
LikeLiked by 2 people
seems like you’ve been thinking of some ideas for books! 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
LOL!! This is good! 😂
LikeLiked by 2 people
I thought so as well!
LikeLiked by 2 people
I can see how such an event with stick with you; I can remember times when I was a little kid I was a bully sometimes (and the victim of bullies as well). Hopefully chalking it up to youth and immaturity and learning from it have helped me with such regrets…
LikeLiked by 1 person
I think we can chalk a lot of our foibles up to immaturity and youth.
I presume you’re feeling better, and if so, I’m glad you are.
LikeLiked by 2 people
I am feeling better; thanks. And I’ve got to get caught up on your Lake Riverside posts…
LikeLiked by 2 people
Great. 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
Welcome back! I hope the natural antibiotics found in chicken soup helped you on your road to recovery. Wishing you good healing!
LikeLiked by 2 people
thanks, Tandy! I think I’ve had chicken soup five nights in a row for dinner. It will come to an end soon 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
I do hope this means that you are back since you are letting us make comments again, or is it just a fluke? Hope you are feeling better, you were missed. Reading your posts is always fun, but not the same when you can’t interact. That is half of the fun!
LikeLiked by 2 people
I second that!
LikeLiked by 1 person
thanks!
LikeLike
I am feeling better, and it is nice to be back to the blogging community. I am looking forward to reading other’s blogs today!
LikeLike
Yay, glad to hear it. Now stay well, must have been that chicken soup. 😉
LikeLike
I’ve had the chicken soup for five straight nights!
LikeLike
I bookmarked the linked book & vid to check out. Motivation is a problem for me. But regrets? Nope. I only have a couple. I don’t think 9f them often. They can’t be changed. I learned from it and am at peace with the regret.
LikeLiked by 1 person
My guess is that your approach may be one of Dan’s suggestions on how to deal with regrets…
LikeLike
Welcome back, my friend! I keep my work life and home life very seperate from each other. I do not make deep relationships with my work colleagues, but that is by design. But I understand your regret!
LikeLiked by 1 person
thanks, Brad! I think I’ve followed your approach, but I thought it would have been nice to have been a bit friendlier with some of my colleagues…
LikeLiked by 1 person
I must agree that statement is likely true for both of us!
LikeLiked by 1 person
👍
LikeLiked by 1 person
Welcome back, I hope you’re feeling much better now. It has felt odd while you’ve not been posting but have been posting – it felt like we were in a vacuum chamber!
LikeLiked by 1 person
thanks, Clive! I am feeling much better, and looking forward to getting caught up with my blogging. I am assuming there is a Tuesday Tunes waiting for me to read!
LikeLiked by 1 person
That’s good to hear, and I hope it stays that way!
Yes there is, and an annual review as well – I tried to spend my time usefully in your kind of absence 😊
LikeLiked by 1 person
as do I!
looking forward to checking out both posts of yours; glad you keep busy 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
it’s clear you have a bit of regret about not responding to comments, but that was so important to you putting your energy into recovery, nothing to regret there. I wonder if you have any regrets about not having more children to have more built-in readers? luckily you have all of us, and you don’t have to feed us and drive us places.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I do feel guilty about the comments…
And I wish I had thought about the benefit of having more kids 40 years ago..
but yes, I am lucky to have people who read my blog and don’t ask to borrow money 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
no reason to feel guilty, we all need our time away to do what’s needed. and maybe adopt some who are readers?
LikeLiked by 1 person
I’ll look into that adoption thing, as long s no one is expecting an allowance…
LikeLiked by 1 person
Most of my regrets are related to friendship/relationship issues. They really weigh on me. A few people have recommended the book the Midnight Library to me (supposed to be amazing) but the whole first chapter is about regret and I had to put it down. I wonder if I’d like Dan’s book. In general, I don’t much go for nonfiction except for memoirs. Glad you’re feeling better.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I’m happy to be feeling better. I wonder if Dan’s book would help put your regrets in perspective…
LikeLike
Good to see you back and the book looks quite interesting too!
LikeLike
I’m glad to be back as well! And I think the book look quite interesting…
LikeLiked by 1 person
Hey! I can comment again! Just in time for all of us to be sick…
I’m deeply interested in the ‘why’ of Rubik’s cubes because I want to understand what action will cause what I want to happen.
Men should not wear handbags.
Motivation is a great thing. I’m always looking for it in the wrong places, like in the TED Talk on procrastination…
LikeLiked by 1 person
I’m not sure I could go deep into the why of Rubik’s Cube, but I can explain what some moves do to the cube. It is a fascinating device.
I don’t think I’d mind wearing handbag; carrying around a phone all the time offers a good reason to do so.
LOL about the TED video – you never know what nuggets you’ll pick up 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
Chicken soup- the ultimate comfort food. Thanks for re-posting the first Rubik’s video, the original one did not play for me. Your streak continues. You are a legend.
LikeLiked by 1 person
the soup seemed to help! and you’ve got quite the streak going as well!
LikeLike
I am actually thinking of ending my streak. I don’t want to deflect attention from yours😎
LikeLiked by 1 person
your streak is much longer than mine in terms of blog posts people enjoy reading…
I’m still in the single digits…
LikeLike
No Regerts!
LikeLiked by 1 person
🙂 reminds me of one of my favorite comedies – We Are the Millers…
LikeLiked by 1 person
Never seen that one. I’ll have to check it out.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Jason Sudekis and Jennifer Aniston – a pretty good combo…
LikeLiked by 1 person
Sudekis is the number puzzles guy right?
LikeLiked by 1 person
yes, most people don’t know that about him…
LikeLiked by 1 person
It sounds like chicken soup played part in your recovery, Jim…I hope you are feeling better now…I wish I could do the Rubiks cube our eldest daughter could do it in I can’t remember in how many seconds flat with her hands behind her back…That was her party piece…Stay well, Jim 🙂 x
LikeLiked by 1 person
the chicken soup was quite enjoyable; I ended my five day streak of eating it yesterday!
that is quite impressive to solve the cube behind your back!
LikeLike
Yes as I said it was her party 🎉 trick.. I don’t know how she did it..
LikeLiked by 1 person
maybe she had two cubes 😉
LikeLike
Having seen her do it many times having messed the cube up or so I thought she just did it every time.. Don’t you hate smart kids.. 😂
LikeLiked by 1 person
If I could do something like that, I’d be showing it off every chance I got!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Trust me she did.. 😀
LikeLiked by 1 person
Welcome back, Jim! I think a Dan Pink book is just what the doctor ordered for your return blog post. I hope you are on the mend.
LikeLiked by 1 person
thanks, Jennie. It feels good to be back!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Wonderful!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks for letting us know about Dan’s upcoming book, Jim. I’m adding to my Amazon list. 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
it looks like it should be a good read!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Interesting book because I think most ppl have only one definition/vision of what regret looks like and most of the times it’s quite negative and leaves us feeling helpless about our past choices…
I try to use the “regrets” as lessons for the future.. but a huge part of it for me is to be able to let go… I have a hard time with that so it’s constantly a work-in-progress for me!
I will your favourite book of his on my TBR list! Thanks for the recommendation! 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
I am just curious as to what the four common regrets will be – Pete Springer has suggested: 1. Career 2. Love life/Partner 3. Family Regrets (Children, etc.) 4. Fear—Inability to change paths
those are four good ones…
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you for introducing me to Daniel Pink, Ted Talks.com and PinkCast. I stumbled upon you blog Jim and spent over an hour already listening to the links you shared. I do appreciate this new information for my life! The book sounds like just the thing I need to be reading now as I am going through some things that have been hard to deal with in my own family. This visit here has been a boost for me…again…grateful!
LikeLiked by 1 person
thank you for your kind comments; I hope you find the book helpful…
LikeLike