The proverb “absence makes the heart grow fonder” describes the feeling of greater affection between friends and lovers who are kept apart. It is a phrase that, in one form or another, can be traced back for millennia—the Roman poet Sextus is credited with the earliest version of the phrase. (Technology Review)
Well, it may be that COVID is offering some evidence to support such a proverb.
While scrolling through the StudyFinds website trying to come up with a topic to write about, I saw two headlines that are much more interesting when combined.
Here was the first headline:
3 in 5 Americans haven’t celebrated the holidays with family in at least 2 years
and here was the second:
2 in 3 people feel more connected to their families than ever before thanks to COVID
Now there isn’t enough data to draw any conclusions, but at first glance, at least to me, those headlines might be suggesting that as a result of not celebrating holidays with family over the past two years, family members actually feel more connected to each other.
Perhaps Sextus came up with the proverb after a couple of years of not celebrating holidays with his family, and he realized he actually felt closer to them as a result.
I’m not sure if you can extrapolate from these studies, but is it possible that the best way to strengthen familial relationships is to actually never spend any time with them?
I certainly hope not…
*image from YouGov
The electronic age makes absence harder to accomplish
LikeLiked by 1 person
there are ways to get together using tech, but I think being together physically is a different experience…
LikeLike
Exactly. You can sit at your computer with no pants on and unwashed for a week. In real life people may comment on these things. Yet actual physical interaction is always better than something less.
LikeLiked by 2 people
yes, as long as you are washed and have pants on, physical interaction is better 🙂
LikeLike
I’m surprised someone named Sextus would be advocating absence. But I’ve learned to disregard any study relating to Covid unless Dr. Fauci endorses it. I only listen to Fauci. Fauci is Science. All hail the mighty Fauci!
LikeLiked by 1 person
I was wondering if anyone would mention Sextus’s name – my money was on you.
I wonder if Fauci will have any memorable proverbs that people will be sharing millennia from now…
LikeLiked by 2 people
Yep, never bet against me on something like that.
No, I suspect that after he dies he will be quickly forgotten, with his memory banished forever. At least by me.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I’ll remember him for having one of the worst opening pitches I’ve ever seen…
LikeLiked by 1 person
He really should have practiced before that infamous day.
LikeLiked by 1 person
agreed…
LikeLiked by 1 person
I have enjoyed watching most of the world adapt to my daily reality of being alone. So many are traumatized, while I quite enjoy it. I’m currently hoping it keeps me from catching omicron.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I think it is helpful to learn how to be comfortable with being alone. I also think it’s helpful to have some social interaction…
I hope you stay healthy!
LikeLike
Thanks.
I’ll talk to anyone, anywhere. I was really dependent on others doing things with me till I realized I was missing life waiting for people to agree to go with me. Once I started doing things alone I realized it was fun!
LikeLiked by 1 person
glad you discovered that!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Me too!!! In between posting the comment and now, I saw a meme that basically said the same… don’t put your life on hold because you can’t find anyone to go with you. I have experienced SO MUCH since figuring that out!!
LikeLiked by 1 person
👍
LikeLike
Hehehe. I think that might be stretching it a bit.
LikeLiked by 1 person
🙂
LikeLike
Maybe it depends on the strength of the pre-existing relationship.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I’m sure it made it easier if there was a strong foundation in place before covid came along…
LikeLiked by 1 person
Those two sentences typify the political leanings of the “reporter” these days certainly in the U.K. It all depends on how they want to portray something, especially around Covid. But it was the same with Brexit, where you could find “data” either as facts or opinions to support whatever you wanted to portray. Now it’s Covid where competing data is produced even by scientists.
LikeLiked by 1 person
there is a lot of conflicting eveidence surrounding covid – it would be nice to know the truth, without any political interference…
LikeLiked by 1 person
I’m not going to give Covid credit for this one, but one consequence has been that my brothers and I have a monthly Zoom meeting now. I do think there’s truth in the saying of absence making the heart grow fonder. One of my best friends got back together with her husband this year, and she has uttered that phrase after a few years of separation.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I agree, I don’t think covid could have an affect on family relationships, unless there ae strong disagreements on how best to manage covid.
nice to hear about your friend getting back with her husband…
LikeLiked by 1 person
yes, it certainly makes us re-evaluate our close relationships for better or worse –
LikeLiked by 2 people
yes it does…
LikeLike
It is often the case that we do not recognize our fondness for something until we are made to do without it. And although we have found innumerable ways to communicate in this day and age, we still long for physical proximity. I would have found the “Sextus” reference funnier if we had been talking about “abstinence” rather than “absence”. Four out of five dentists think the fifth dentist is an idiot.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I agree that physical contact is important.
and that would have been funny is it had been abstinence with Sextus 🙂
there’s always that one dentist…
LikeLike
An interesting theory. Some love distancing and Zoom, others love the in-person connection. One size does not fit all.
LikeLiked by 1 person
good point, perhaps a combo of both is the best option…
LikeLiked by 1 person
As usual, you are so funny. It is so much easier to talk to family members on the phone or internet without getting irritated by their mannerisms. LOL I get along great with my family. 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
I guess for some people the tech makes it easier. I think a combo of tech and in person might work best…
LikeLiked by 1 person
With snow days! 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
yes! 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
It could be the way the sentences are phrased (which IMO is pretty sloppy). When I read the first sentence “with family” makes me think of extended family, my brothers, my father, etc. The second sentence “their family” (i.e. *my* family) makes me think of my wife and kids. I would answer both of these affirmatively, because in my mind they are talking about different families.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I hadn’t thought of that; I just assumed they were referring to family collectively. But I can see your interpretation…
LikeLike
I have definitely missed a lot of people over the last years. Some I have become closer to and sadly some have drifted away.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I think your experience is likely typical; it has been a strange couple of years…
LikeLiked by 1 person
Yea it has!!! Here’s to 2022, May it be a great year!!!
LikeLiked by 1 person
👍
LikeLiked by 1 person
Ahhhhg, I thought it was absinthe makes the heart grow fonder. I have wasted a lot of money sending booze to women over the years.
LikeLiked by 1 person
but I am sure you brought a lot of joy to those women…
LikeLiked by 1 person
I always bring joy to women when I go away.
LikeLiked by 1 person
at least you made the effort…
LikeLiked by 1 person
I always said that I got along with certain members of my family a whole lot better when I lived 1200 miles away from them.
LikeLiked by 1 person
and you have technology to visit them whenever you want… 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
Interesting! To add to the confusion… “Of the 2,020 parents polled in October, one in six said they have high stress levels during the holidays, with almost twice as many mothers reporting they feel stress than fathers.” From: https://edition.cnn.com/2021/12/20/health/holiday-stress-family-poll-wellness/index.html
LikeLiked by 1 person
thanks for that info; I’m not surprised that moms feel more stress than dads, but I am surprised the number isn’t higher for both groups…
LikeLiked by 1 person
I do believe this! I feel so much closer to my sisters (if that’s even possible) than before pandemic… We definitely don’t take any time spent for granted 🙏
LikeLiked by 1 person
you are lucky to have such close relationships. my wife and her sister have been incredibly close since the day I met them 45 years ago…
LikeLiked by 1 person
That warms my heart!! ♥️♥️♥️ Yes, we are a lucky bunch… We realize more and more every year how lucky we are!
LikeLiked by 1 person
👍
LikeLiked by 1 person
There are some family members I don’t feel closer to because of distance and others I never need to see again.
LikeLiked by 1 person
there are some relatives I prefer spending time with compared to some others, but fortunately there aren’t any I don’t get along with…
LikeLiked by 1 person
I’m not sure about fonder, but it was pure happiness to see our daughter after three years!
LikeLiked by 1 person
we missed seeing our boys last year, so this year was extra nice…
I’m trying to remember – is it your daughter who was off in some remote part of the world?
LikeLiked by 1 person
Yes, the remote wilderness of Denver 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
must have been someone else! but glad she could find her way out of the wilderness 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
I still miss experiencing more of the in-person connections whether with family, church, school soccer matches, or just being out and about. My wife and I have been much more active since becoming vaccinated in May and recently boosted, but we still use some common sense with reducing our exposure.
LikeLiked by 1 person
you sound just like my wife and I. Happy to be fully boosted so that we can get out ore, but still not 100% back to where we were…
LikeLiked by 1 person
Yes. Kind of like not really being able to have a snow day anymore, it can be a sort of double-edged sword. Of course, as far as the snow days for you and others among my teacher friends, don’t complain! Most of you still get more time off than other poor working stiffs. Of course, I can make that complaint since I’m now retired, which I highly recommend to any and everyone I know. A couple of them have even finally listened to me!
LikeLiked by 1 person
us teachers do get some decent time off, but nothing wrong with getting a bonus one!
and I have heard great things about retirement; I’m just a couple of years away myself, fingers crossed…
LikeLiked by 1 person