In this week’s Pinkcast, Dan meets with Vanessa Bohns, a social psychologist at Cornell University and author of You Have More Influence Than You Think: How We Underestimate Our Power of Persuasion, and Why It Matters.
Vanessa offers advice on why we should be more willing to give people compliments, and how to do so most effectively.
Bohns notes that many people hold back on saying nice things about other people for a couple of reasons. One is that we may think that we are annoying people, or that we might stumble over our words. Another reason for not giving compliments is that we underestimate how good it makes a person feel, perhaps thinking the person has already heard it before or doesn’t really care what we have to say.
Vanessa then offers three tips on how to give effective compliments:
- make sure your compliment shows the other person respect
- don’t worry about how you say the compliment because people just like hearing nice things about themselves
- give compliments often
This all sounds good (nice job, Dan and Vanessa!), but I wonder if it can lead to too much false or superficial praise.
But if any of you are looking to practice your compliment giving, feel to do so in the comments (even if it is superficial)
Here’s the Pinkcast video:
*image from TCOYD