During my accounting lecture yesterday, we were talking about how to account for interest expense (I’ll stop right there, I don’t want to lose my audience that soon).
On one of the PowerPoint slides that one of my colleagues had put together, he had inserted the following joke:
Why did the banker break up with her boyfriend?
- Because she lost interest.
Most of the students were able to guess that one, probably because we had just been talking about interest.
But most of them did not get the follow-up:
Why did the lawyer break up with her boyfriend?
- Because he lost his appeal.
The two jokes went over so well (not), that I decided to look for more break-up jokes, and I came across a whole page of them, so I thought I would share a few of my favorites. Feel free to groan whenever you want…
Why did the girl break up with her staunch republican boyfriend?
- Because he had to be always right.
Why did the guy break up with his tennis-playing girlfriend?
- Love meant nothing to her.
Why did the girl break up with her stonemason boyfriend?
- She took him for granite.
Why did the biology teacher break up with the physics teacher?
- They had no chemistry.
Why did the astronaut break up with his girlfriend?
- He just needed some space.
Why did the lion break up with his girlfriend?
- He found out she was a cheetah.
Why did the dustpan break up with the broom?
- Because it was sweeping around.
What did the electron say to the proton when it broke up with the neutron?
- βHey! Stay positive!
βWhy did the boy telephone and the girl telephone break up?
- There was just no connection.
How to break up with your girlfriend: a two-step process:
- Step 1: take off your glasses
- Step 2: say: ‘I’m afraid I can’t see you anymore!’
My girlfriend threatened to break up with me because of my obsession with the Monkees. I thought she was kidding…
- And then I saw her face.
Haha Love the jokes! Laugh at almost all of it, but I love the music most. So cheerful and romantic π₯°
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The Monkees are one of the best!
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π
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Oooh you didn’t! Did you hear me groaning? You were anticipating my reply, weren’t you. πΆπ€! BUT yes, I was smiling! How can I not smile when you play a Monkees song! Especially that one!
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They are certainly groan worthy. And the Monkees are one of the best!
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There actually were some though that were pretty good but you didn’t hear that from me. π
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mum’s the word…
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I can’t top any of those jokes. Primo stuff. Those kids don’t know how lucky they are to be in your class.
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I hope the students remember the accounting for interest more than the interest joke, at least until the end of the semester…
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Well one thing is for sure, you’re keeping things interesting.
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that’s what I’m banking on…
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When I was a college freshman, I had a history teacher who cracked a lot of jokes. Some were pretty good, and others were pretty corny. His name was Don Shannon. Don’t ask me for the names of any of my other professors. But I’ll never forget him.
His lecture hall was always packed, with many of the students just visiting, and not formally enrolled in his class. I learned a lot about California history from him (the subject that he taught) because he made it so much fun to learn.
I think accounting can be fun to learn, also, if you use humor and such to keep it interesting. So you never know what sort of lasting impression you’re making on your students.
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I agree that humor can help; I’ve gotten much better at not taking myself too seriously… It may be this Shannon guy that sparked your interesting topics like The Chinese Cultural Revolution and California…
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He sparked my interest in California history, that’s for sure. To this day, I like to stop at historical (hysterical?) landmarks and read the plaques, just to brush up.
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I enjoy reading those plaques as well…
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What a relief that you can’t top them!
And yes, they are lucky! I would listen to these all day over accounting!
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Well maybe if I try harder I can top them. What do you think?
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I have no doubt you could come up with a break-up pun for every profession known to man…
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And I’ll bet I can come up with some prostitute jokes, also.
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well it is the world’s oldest profession…
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……mmm…!
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I think I probably should have kept my mouth closed!
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I think he is up for the challenge…
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SSH!!
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π
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it would come down to a choice between groaning over bad jokes or sleeping during accounting…
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Well if I could truly sleep I will take that. π
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my students are exhibit A…
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Do you let them sleep or throw a pencil at them? π
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I let them sleep – they probably need it… π
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You are Nice!
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I don’t want to get reported to the Dean… π
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Very good ππ
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Thanks, Tandy!
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Great humor but corny. Break up jokes are so corny. How corny are they? So corny I had to share another musical one.
What do you say when you break up with an electrician?
Watt is love?
Baby don’t hertz me.
Don’t hertz me.
N-ohm-ore.
ππ€£π
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Love it – that gave me a real jolt… π
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Shocking! π
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π
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You are a real live wire π
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You seem to get a charge out of this π
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This post is the piΓ¨ce de rΓ©sistance π
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well played… π
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Now appearing twice nightly at the Pussycat Lounge, Professor Borden.
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A friendly word of advice, stick to juggling…π But to stick with the theme, I offer the following humor:
An accountant decided to leave his wife one day. He left her a note saying, “Dear Jane, I am 54 years old and I have never done anything wild. So I’m leaving you for an 18 year old blonde model. We’ll be staying at the Sheraton.” He then packed his things and went there. When he arrived at the Sheraton, there was a message for him from his wife. It read, “Dear John. I too am 54 years old. I have followed your example and am staying at the Hyatt with an 18 year old Italian hunk. And I’m sure that you, as an accountant, will appreciate that 18 goes into 54 many many more times than 54 goes into 18!”
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Thatβs quite a Dear John letter π
And I think Iβll stick to teaching accounting… π
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Hehehe – a groan-worthy collection.
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Yes, indeed… π
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And you finished strong – loved the monkees! Write to us from the road on your first tour!
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I guess as long as I would end every show with a clip of the Monkees, at least that would give the audience something to look forward to… π
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I’d come to that! Love the Monkees!
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lots of Monkees fans here!
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depending on your audience…. don’t forget your know you market lesson ))
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my audience would probably be my family…
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So – they may go for it
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maybe… π
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I laughed and groaned and wondered why you had the urge to tell break up jokes on Valentines Day. Have a good one!
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timing has never been my strong point! π
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Oh, no! It was good π
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π
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Loved these!!! Put a big smile on my face!! Thanks for the chuckles!!
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glad you enjoyed them, Lori!
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Wow.
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π
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Thanks for the groans! But any post that includes the Monkees is fine by me.
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the Monkees seemed to be the saving grace for this post… π
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They did, rather!
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π
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Good ones!!
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thanks, Val!
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These are quite funny, Jim. Happy Monday.
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glad you enjoyed them Robbie; Happy Monday to you as well.
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As someone who wears glasses I will be using the second-last one from now on…
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yes, that one could come in handy π
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Fun post Jim. Ahh Micki Dolan π
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the Monkees were great!
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π¬π¦ lol!
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π
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I absolutely love these and needed the laugh. Thank you!!
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thanks; I’m glad you enjoyed them!
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I love the Monkees! I used to watch the show when I was a kid.
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it was a fun show to watch!
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I came for the accounting lecture and stayed for the jokes!
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π
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break up humor is always good
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π
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whats the best break up humor you have seen lately?
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it’s hard to top these…
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This was fun. I rarely see a good break up joke. Thanks for sharing π
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you are quite welcome, thanks for your comment!
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