Before we got in the car and headed to Brooklyn for the day, I decided I was going to drive like a man today. Maybe it was the Scottish Shower I took.
No more “X plus 7” driving, not today. At the very least, I decided I was going to stay up with the traffic, and not be the only guy on the road going less than 15 mph over the speed limit. Heck, I might even try things out in the far left lane.
To get ready for the trip, I got all the necessary items in place – a large coffee, black; a Spotify playlist loaded with Johnny Cash and CCR songs; and a hot babe in the passenger seat (she’s been beside me for over 40 years now…).
Then it was time to hit the road. I loaded the directions up on Google Maps, and I noticed that it estimated 1:57 to get there. I thought to myself, it doesn’t know that I was going to be driving like a man, I’ll make it in less than 1:45. I also thought that Google Maps should have a “Man” setting which accounts for aggressive driving and excessive speeds.
I must admit it took me a few miles to get comfortable with not being the slowest guy on the road, but once I started passing a few cars, my confidence began to grow. I ended up passing several cars; I even ventured into the fastest lane a few times.
By the time I hit 95 North, I felt like a real man.
No more looking forlornly at all the other cars passing me – I was one of those guys doing the passing now.
No more calling the drivers of the cars speeding past me crazy; we were all perfectly sane. We had a job to do, and we were doing it. I think at one point I may hit 80 mph.
Of course, I’m not yet a man’s man. While I did pass a good number of cars, I don’t think I ever managed to pass a pickup truck.
We arrived in Brooklyn a few minutes ahead of schedule, as befits a man.
Our first stop was Rough Trade, a classic indie record shop. By 1:00 in the afternoon, we were sitting in the Brooklyn Brewery having a cold one. That’s what men like my son and I (and hot babes) do. We also did the free tour of the brewery.
The beer and the tour made us hungry, so we stopped at a taco truck (Tacos Chulula) that was right next to the brewery.
We then walked down to the waterfront for some great views of Manhattan followed by some more meandering around the Williamsburg area of Brooklyn.
We ended our day at Teddy’s Bar & Grill for some burgers and a brew.
It was a short walk to our car.
At this point, I had proven to myself that I could be a man when sitting behind the wheel. Thus, there was no need to prove it on the way home.
So I returned to my old X+7 formula, and I was fine watching all the cars pass me. I had lived that life, and so I wasn’t that impressed.
But that doesn’t mean I’ve given up trying to act like a man.
I think the next item on my man bucket list is learning how to use an electric drill…