Elizabeth Bernstein wrote a wonderful story in Wednesday’s Wall Street Journal: Why Being Kind Helps You, Too—Especially Now.
Bernstein notes that there is research which links kindness to a wealth of physical and emotional benefits. Plus, it’s an excellent coping skill for the Covid-19 era.
Here are some of the highlights from the story:
- Studies show that when people are kind, they have lower levels of stress hormones and their fight-or-flight response calms down. They’re less depressed, less lonely, and happier. They have better cardiovascular health and live longer. They may be physically stronger. They’re more popular. And a soon-to-be-published study found that they may even be considered better looking.
- Being kind is an excellent coping skill for the Covid-19 era. In a time of isolation, kindness fosters connection to others. It helps provide purpose and meaning to our life, allowing us to put our values into practice. And it diminishes our negative thoughts.
- Psychologists call kindness altruism and talk of two types: reciprocal (you help someone because it will benefit you in some way—like giving money to get a tax break) and pure (you have no expectation of reward). Humans evolved to do both.
- Some people are kinder than others—specifically, people born with the personality trait of empathy. Yet, nature accounts for just half of our propensity to be kind. The rest is nurture—we learn it from our parents, our family, and our community. And we can also teach ourselves.
- When we’re kind, a part of the reward system called the nucleus accumbens activates—our brain responds the same way it would if we ate a piece of chocolate cake. In addition, when we see the response of the recipient of our kindness—when the person thanks us or smiles back—our brain releases oxytocin, the feel-good bonding hormone.
- People who believed that kindness is good for them showed a greater increase in positive emotions, satisfaction with life, and feelings of connection with others—as well as a greater decrease in negative emotions—than those who did not.
- Start by being kind to yourself.
- Little acts of kindness add up.
- There is a difference between being kind and being nice—kindness is genuinely helping or caring about someone; niceness is being polite. (I always wondered what the difference was…)
- Research suggests that simply remembering past acts of kindness can also increase your well-being.
That’s a lot of bang for the kindness buck.
Kindness has been the attribute I’ve tried to place the highest priority on ever since my wife told me years ago, when our children were small, that what she wanted most for our three boys was for them to be kind. I’m happy to say that my wife got what she wanted…
*image from Guinness Care
Beautiful. I like the distinction between nice and kind. I find that many people look upon someone who is “nice” more favourably than on someone who is not high on the “nice” scale, but is actually kind.
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I like how they made the distinction as well, and your point is well taken.
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I’ve known a few kind people. The dilemma they seem to face is, how to be kind without others taking advantage. When I see how they’re so often used as a welcome mat, I feel kind of glad I’m such a mean person.
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I know, you are such a “Scrooge!” LOL!
You should check ypur email. 🙂
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I checked it, finally. Sent you a reply.
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I guess meanness has its privileges 🙂
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Being kind is something I have never once regretted. 🕊
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Great observation – I don’t think I have either…
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Good post! Being Kind is so simple and so rewarding. A kindness pandemic would be my kind of pandemic!
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somehow a kindness pandemic would probably turn political as well…
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You are probably right! Politics drive me crazy!!
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and never so much as recently!
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Exactly!!
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I’m glad to hear your wife got what she wanted!
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thanks, Tandy! so are we…
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This is another lovely article, Jim. I agree with you about kindness and its benefits. I have always thought this but never put it into words quite like this.
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yes, the WSJ reporter did a great job pulling all the research and anecdotes together.
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After the last three years, I had almost forgotten about the benefits of kindness. We could sure use a lot more of it now for many reasons. Thanks for reminding me. Nice is good, too.
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kindness, niceness, gratitude – we all know that they are good for us and others, yet so many people fail to behave accordingly. And unfortunately, sometimes I am guilty of not behaving properly, so it is good to read these reminders…
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I’m in 100% agreement with Bernstein’s piece. When we’re kind and make someone else’s day better, it makes us feel better about ourselves. My mom was the most nurturing soul, and my brothers and I benefitted so much. She didn’t tell us to be kind; she showed us to be kind.
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Yes, Pete, Bernstein did a great job summarizing all the research and clearly showing the power of kindness. It was a timely reminder. You were lucky to have such a wonderful mom…
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It all comes back to empathy, in the end. If you can enter into the feelings of another, you cannot simply walk on by…
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agreed, the ability to put ourselves in another person’s shoes can make all the difference.
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Thanks for sharing this wonderful post Jim… I completely agree with the list especially when you want to be kind from the bottom of your heart, not because you’re looking for some sort of reward. Maybe I’m the latter because I’m far from popular 😭 😂
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thanks, Jessica. Yes, the WSJ reporter did a wonderful job bringing all the research together into an informative story. I think either type of kindness is good, but it does sound like there are extra benefits when it is from the bottom of your heart. I am far from popular as well 🙂
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Says the man who gain a lot of loyal blog followers 😄 and even capture me. Me! The majestic me is hard isn’t easy to give attention. Joke 😂 I’m feeling flippant today.
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it’s fun to be in a flippant mood – enjoy it! 🙂
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so interesting and not surprising. your and your wife’s wish for your children is the best thing a parent could hope for in a child.
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I agree, and my wife has been wonderful role model in that regard…
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Your children have grown into the kind and caring individuals they are not because of anything you said to them, but because of everything you did. You and your wife lived the example of kindness and they have seen those benefits with their own eyes. That is how the greatest lessons are learned. You have even taught an old goat like me a thing or two on the way, and I thank you for that. Great post and timely!
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thank you for your kind words, Brad. Most of the credit goes to my wife for being such a great roe model of kindness. I’ve learned from her. And I’m grateful for the great job the WSJ reporter did putting this story together.
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Hey Jim, I hope you and your family are well. Being kind is a characteristic that seems almost extinct, but your post remind me there is hope. Being kind doesn’t cost a thing ..thank
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we are all doing well, LaShawn.
Your words prove that the best things in life are free…
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I think this is my favorite post you have had so far! It’s ironic because I posted my BeeKind decal to my blog yesterday. Or did that inspire you? LOL! I miss doing the pay-it-forward acts (random acts of kindness) because I just won’t leave my house unless I have to now. I used to pay for lunch for service members who showed up in uniform if I was eating there. I’d make eye contact with the owner and she would send them on their way once they got their food. I’d pay her when I was done eating. Those oxytocin really come out and it’s just good karma for everyone! Isn’t oxytocin an interesting word since Oxycotin makes the pain go away after a surgery? Clever letter reversal. There is another idea for a blog. 🙂
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the BeeKind decal must have been a subliminal suggestion 🙂
how kind of you to pay for those lunches, and I never thought about how closely those two words are related!
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Maybe it was in your nightmare the other night and you don’t remember that part. LOL! I believe in good karma and military personnel deserve our respect. It was simple way to thank them without being noticed or making a big deal of it. 😊
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now I want to do something similar!
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My favorite part: “ Research suggests that simply remembering past acts of kindness can also increase your well-being.” I love this and would like to make it a daily practice. Thank you for the great information on kindness!
🙏 🕊 🙏
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that bit of research caught my eye as well; nice to know that just remembering an act of kindness is so powerful…
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I’m note sure if you can say kindness and giving are the same thing (I like to think they are pretty similiar) but I try to live a life giving without expecting anything in return – I know some people say “oh be careful, some people will take advantage of that”, but I find it quite rewarding knowing a small thing I have done has helped someone out.
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it seems like both types of giving are beneficial, but when you do it without expecting anything in return, it has greater benefits.
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Nice to hear, kindness is always in style! 🙂
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I agree, and we could always use more of it…
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Always. 🙂
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The very unknowing power of kindness..!
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indeed…
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Kindness to yourself is definitely the hardest.
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how true!
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