Take Me Out to This Ballgame!

Once again, only in Florida

The Jacksonville Jumbo Shrimp — the Miami Marlins’ Double-A affiliate — are hosting Florida Man Night in what is one of the weirder promotions out there. The team will break a “weird Florida law every inning” on July 26, according to the team.


Minor league baseball teams are always coming up with clever promotions, but this one may be the best ever.

Can you imagine making a public announcement that you are going to be breaking several laws, and giving the exact date and time that such activity will take place? You have to admire the team’s chutzpah.

I wonder if the police will be at the game, ready to arrest the people who break these laws.

The story mentioned a few of the strange laws that exist in Florida, such as:

  • If an elephant is left tied to a parking meter, you have to pay for the elephant like it’s a vehicle.
  • Women can’t parachute on Sundays.
  • Men cannot wear strapless gowns in public.
  • No singing is permitted in public while wearing a swimsuit.

Since I assume this law-breaking will take place after each full inning, this means there will need to be a total of eight such incidents.

I decided to see if I could find four more strange Florida laws that may be good candidates for being broken during the baseball game. Here’s what I came up with:

  • You may not fart in a public place after 6:00 pm
  • It is considered an offense to shower naked.
  • You are not allowed to break more than three dishes per day, or chip the edges of more than four cups and/or saucers.
  • Persons may not be “inappropriately attired” who work at hot dog stands.

And let’s hope the game doesn’t go into extra innings; otherwise, they might have to resort to breaking the following law:

  • It’s illegal to have sexual relations with a porcupine.