My Senior Prom, and Other Rites of Male Passage That I’ve Missed


It was my usual Sunday morning routine, Dunkin’ Donuts coffee and bagels at my Aunt’s house, watching reruns of Deal or No Deal.

I think I’ve seen most of the Deal or No Deal shows, but not the one that was on TV today. This episode from 2007 featured a young woman who mentioned to Howie that she never went to her high school prom, and suggested it was because she was kind of a dork back then.

Well Howie and the producers decided to recreate the prom for the young woman by getting her all dressed up, made-up, and hair done for the next episode. She was now married, so her date for the prom was her husband. During the show many of the models shared their prom experiences, many of whom did not go to their senior prom either (Howie also said that he never went to his senior prom).

Watching the show brought me back over 40 years to the time of my senior prom, which I did not attend (I didn’t go my junior prom either). If you’re curious why, just look at the picture below of my high school ID from senior year. And the lady on Deal or No Deal thought she was a dork!


I vaguely recall being somewhat bummed about not going, but relieved as well. The last time I went to such a dance was my sophomore year, which I talked about in my post He Likes to Talk about Bowling. (Hint – it didn’t go so well. Bonus alert- if you click on the link – you can see my sophomore year ID).

So after the show was over (the young lady won $40,000 by the way), I reflected on what other rites of male passage I’ve missed over the years. While there are far too many to list, I thought I’d share a few.

  • I never had a beer in the woods with my buddies while I was in high school.
  • My senior week after graduating high school was spent doing math puzzles and brain teasers in my bedroom (I wish I could say that’s paid off somehow).
  • I never had a girlfriend in high school (again, see Exhibit B above).
  • I’ve never spent a night in jail.
  • I’ve never gone hunting.
  • I’ve never driven a car over 80 miles per hour.
  • I’ve never driven a motorcycle.
  • I’ve never had a beard.
  • I’ve never been to the Philly Wing Bowl.
  • I’ve never been to a Hooters restaurant.
  • I’ve never been to Las Vegas for a “what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas” kind of weekend.
  • And I’ve never had this happen to me as a teacher:

If I ever had the chance to be on Deal or No Deal, it looks like the producers would have their hands full trying to get me up to speed…


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