I’m Looking Forward to Reading Dan Pink’s New Book: The Power of Regret

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Regular readers of my blog (my wife and three sons) know that I have featured Dan Pink quite often in my blog. Dan started a series of bi-weekly Pinkcasts a few years ago, and I believe I have featured every one of those Pinkcasts.

I have also read nearly all of Dan’s books (I consider A Whole New Mind one of the best books I have ever read), and his TED Talk on motivation is one of the most-watched TED talks and one I have shown in my classes multiple times over the years.

I’ve always thought Dan has been one of the most generous authors and speakers, often sharing the works of others through his Pinkcast videos.

So that is why I am happy to share the news about Dan’s latest book on Regrets.

As Dan notes in the Pinkcast video below, the book is split into three parts:

Part One – Regret Reclaimed

In this section, the goal is to get you to look at regrets differently, not as something unusual, but as something that is extremely common. 50 years of science tells us that everyone has regrets, and if we treat them properly, they can help us become a better person.

Part Two – Regrets Revealed

This section looks at the 16,000 regrets Dan collected from people around the globe – 105 countries to be exact. The analysis reveals that people have the same four core human regrets. If we understand what people regret most, we can then understand what they value the most and offer a path to a life well-lived.

I was one of the 16,000 people worldwide who shared their biggest regret in response to Dan’s request. Here is what I wrote:

My regret is that I did not make more of an effort to become friends with my work colleagues. I’ve worked at the same place for more than 30 years, and I would not consider anyone I work with to be a close friend. You know, the kind of person you would call up when you were struggling with something or someone to go grab a beer with at the last minute.

Part Three – Regret Remade

This section offers advice on what to do with your regrets: how to undo some past regrets; how to forget certain regrets; how to look back on your most important regrets so that you can extract lessons you can apply in the future, how to anticipate regrets so that you don’t make the same mistakes again.

Here is the Pinkcast:

*image from AllEventsInHarrisburg

The book will be available on February 1…

 

Published by Jim Borden

A 60-something guy trying to figure out the world, and his place in it. Happily married for 40-plus years, three wonderful sons. Accounting teacher, fitness enthusiast, blogger, reader.

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76 thoughts on “I’m Looking Forward to Reading Dan Pink’s New Book: The Power of Regret”

  1. I suspect you must be feeling better if you’re back to commenting. My impression of you as a guy who takes care of himself is that you rarely are ill. Anyway, nice to have you back. I read all of your submissions while you were gone.

    As far as Dan’s book goes, I would read it. I want to take a shot at the four common types of regrets. Here’s my guess: 1. Career 2. Love life/Partner 3. Family Regrets (Children, etc.) 4. Fear—Inability to change paths

    I like that he includes Section 3 about learning how to utilize and learn from our past regrets. I figured my big one out a little later than I would have liked, but at least I got there—not wanting to live a life in fear and always taking the safe route.

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    1. HI Pete, it’s nice to be back to commenting; looking forward to getting caught up with yours and other’s blogs.

      I think those are four good ones. And I like how you addressed one of the regrets that you had. I am trying to work on mine about the work colleagues…

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  3. I’ve had a successful career and marriage, and I’m usually pretty happy, so my regrets are of the little things. Like that time when I admonished a young man who was writing up my purchase at a book store, that if he used both hands he could get the job done faster. And then I saw he had a crippled hand. Even to this day, over 40 years later, that moment feels cringeworthy. I think we can learn lessons from our regrets, and those lessons can help us to make better choices in the future.

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    1. Oh my I cringe with you! But, in one way or the other, we all have had those cringe moments. Where you just wish a hole would open up in the floor and you could disappear briefly.
      I still cringe at the way I broke up with a guy. We hadn’t been dating long, but I still should have told him to his face. I wrote a note, and gave it to him when we passed in the hallway. He handed me a note at the same time and I wanted to sink in a hole as I read it. I literally felt sick. He talked so highly of me and how happy he was ….

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      9. Omg, that is right out of a set up for a novel or teen movie. But we really can’t help who we love and when we feel whatever love or infatuation feelings we feel ..

        But in the teen movie version, no doubt, his note would give you second thoughts and the entire rest of the movie (&/or the Jane Austen book it was based on 🙂 would be about how you finally express your true feelings and he finally forgives you and wins your heart in the end!

        At least IRL you and he both got over the sheer cringy, awful awkwardness of the note-passing bad timing and became friends….so many paths open up with every rejection…

        In another movie version, both of you share the note passing stories with your best friends. Your bestie is so mortified for you that she makes a point of befriending him and then SHE ends up with him … one woman’s regret is another woman’s opportunity!

        And HIS best friend is like: Oh man that’s harsh. But hey, that means she’s available? ha!

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    2. I can see how such an event with stick with you; I can remember times when I was a little kid I was a bully sometimes (and the victim of bullies as well). Hopefully chalking it up to youth and immaturity and learning from it have helped me with such regrets…

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  5. I do hope this means that you are back since you are letting us make comments again, or is it just a fluke? Hope you are feeling better, you were missed. Reading your posts is always fun, but not the same when you can’t interact. That is half of the fun!

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  6. I bookmarked the linked book & vid to check out. Motivation is a problem for me. But regrets? Nope. I only have a couple. I don’t think 9f them often. They can’t be changed. I learned from it and am at peace with the regret.

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      1. That’s good to hear, and I hope it stays that way!

        Yes there is, and an annual review as well – I tried to spend my time usefully in your kind of absence 😊

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  9. it’s clear you have a bit of regret about not responding to comments, but that was so important to you putting your energy into recovery, nothing to regret there. I wonder if you have any regrets about not having more children to have more built-in readers? luckily you have all of us, and you don’t have to feed us and drive us places.

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    1. I do feel guilty about the comments…

      And I wish I had thought about the benefit of having more kids 40 years ago..

      but yes, I am lucky to have people who read my blog and don’t ask to borrow money 🙂

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  10. Most of my regrets are related to friendship/relationship issues. They really weigh on me. A few people have recommended the book the Midnight Library to me (supposed to be amazing) but the whole first chapter is about regret and I had to put it down. I wonder if I’d like Dan’s book. In general, I don’t much go for nonfiction except for memoirs. Glad you’re feeling better.

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  12. Hey! I can comment again! Just in time for all of us to be sick…

    I’m deeply interested in the ‘why’ of Rubik’s cubes because I want to understand what action will cause what I want to happen.

    Men should not wear handbags.

    Motivation is a great thing. I’m always looking for it in the wrong places, like in the TED Talk on procrastination…

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    1. I’m not sure I could go deep into the why of Rubik’s Cube, but I can explain what some moves do to the cube. It is a fascinating device.

      I don’t think I’d mind wearing handbag; carrying around a phone all the time offers a good reason to do so.

      LOL about the TED video – you never know what nuggets you’ll pick up 🙂

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  15. It sounds like chicken soup played part in your recovery, Jim…I hope you are feeling better now…I wish I could do the Rubiks cube our eldest daughter could do it in I can’t remember in how many seconds flat with her hands behind her back…That was her party piece…Stay well, Jim 🙂 x

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  18. Interesting book because I think most ppl have only one definition/vision of what regret looks like and most of the times it’s quite negative and leaves us feeling helpless about our past choices…

    I try to use the “regrets” as lessons for the future.. but a huge part of it for me is to be able to let go… I have a hard time with that so it’s constantly a work-in-progress for me!

    I will your favourite book of his on my TBR list! Thanks for the recommendation! 🙂

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    1. I am just curious as to what the four common regrets will be – Pete Springer has suggested: 1. Career 2. Love life/Partner 3. Family Regrets (Children, etc.) 4. Fear—Inability to change paths

      those are four good ones…

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  19. Thank you for introducing me to Daniel Pink, Ted Talks.com and PinkCast. I stumbled upon you blog Jim and spent over an hour already listening to the links you shared. I do appreciate this new information for my life! The book sounds like just the thing I need to be reading now as I am going through some things that have been hard to deal with in my own family. This visit here has been a boost for me…again…grateful!

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