I Think the Hairstylist Was Trying to Tell Me Something

fashion, humor, lessons learned, Teaching and Education 2 Minutes

I went for my quarterly haircut today to one of those national chains, the same one I’ve used for several years now.

I never ask for a specific stylist, whoever is available is fine with me. And today was my first time to have my haircut by this particular woman.

I should have had an inkling of what it was going to be like, when her second question, after asking me my name, was “Do you color your hair?” It took me a couple of tries to understand what she was asking, not only because of her accent but because it caught me completely off guard. That’s a question I have never been asked, and I replied in the negative.

After then asking me how I wanted my hair cut, she asked me if I used any product. and I once again replied in the negative.

She then asked me if I wanted my eyebrows trimmed, again, something I’ve never had done, and I saw little need for.

A few minutes later, while cutting my hair, she asked me once again if I wanted my hair colored. I once again said no, and she replied that it would make me look younger. I said I’m fine, and that I had no interest in looking younger.

A minute later, she once again asked if I wanted any product in my hair; once again I said no.

She then took me to get my hair washed, and when we went back to the chair, she asked me for a third time if I wanted any gel in my hair. I answered no, and said I don’t really use gel.

I thought I was home free at that point. But then as she started finishing things up, she asked me what side I part my hair on. I said I don’t part my hair, I just brush it straight back.

She then started brushing it straight back and said that I would need some gel if I brush it like that, otherwise it would stand straight up and I wouldn’t look professional while I stood in front of the classroom (who knew that telling her what I did would be used against me).

I almost burst out laughing at this point, but I calmly replied that after a few days my hair would start curling up and I would be ok.

The interrogation was finally over, and my haircut was fine. The woman was also pleasant enough, so I left my usual tip, despite the aggressive nature of her questions.

All I could think was that there must have been some sort of employee incentive going on to sell extra services and products, and this stylist was all-in on the incentive program.

So if you are counting, here is the summary:

  • number of times asked about getting hair colored: twice
  • number of times asked if I wanted product: four times
  • number of times asked if I wanted my eyebrows trimmed: once

So I just want to put this down in writing and be crystal clear, in case anyone ever has to take me for my haircut, and I can’t speak for myself.

I never, ever want any of the following:

  1. hair coloring
  2. hair product
  3. eyebrows trimmed

(one exception – if the stylist says they can make me look like George Clooney, then say yes to whatever is involved…)

 

Published by Jim Borden

A 60-something guy trying to figure out the world, and his place in it. Happily married for 40-plus years, three wonderful sons. Accounting teacher, fitness enthusiast, blogger, reader.

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66 thoughts on “I Think the Hairstylist Was Trying to Tell Me Something”

  2. This is the best laugh I’ve had all week!!! I even read it to my girts and they enjoyed a good laugh, too! That’s what I call some aggressive marketing!!! Thanks for sharing this experience, Jim!

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  3. I was laughing throughout this whole post. Poor girl really wanted to make a sale and you wouldn’t give in!
    Who knows, maybe the prize for being a topseller was a beachhouse! And maybe she would have let you use it.
    You just let it slip through your fingers! LOL!

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  4. Ha ha. A perfect reason to have a regular stylist. They become invested and don’t want to annoy their customers. But then again looking like George Clooney could sway a lot of people. Although I do believe he is sporting grey hair these days.

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    1. I guess I’m more of a spur of the moment when it comes to gtting my hair cut, and might get annoyed if I couldn’t see my regular stylist when I wanted to. 🙂

      and George is really letting himself go…

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  6. Usually they ask me what shampoo I use, so they can then explain why I should be using the shampoo they are hawking. They probably think I am being a smartass but I actually use baby shampoo. At least they do not try to sell off that answer.

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    1. I wasn’t sure if her first mention of product included shampoo, or if she was jsut referring to hair gel the whole time. Either way, I wasn’t buying any of it.

      And I guess your eyes never tear up when you use shampoo!

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  7. She probably earns 40% of what you paid for the cut, if not less and earns commission on product you buy to take home. So the colour, gel and eyebrow trimming would have cost you more and she would have earned more. But, still annoying to be asked more than once.

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  8. I have never gotten the color question (firm no for me, too), but I get the product and eyebrow questions. I think you should have gone to that line from the commercials. “No, but I did stay at a Holiday Inn Express last night.” 😎

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    1. I don’t think I ever saw those commercials, so I just looked one up, and found the one with the doctor – funny stuff. Now I will have to try and use that line, even though it’s more than five years old at this point!

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  9. I think you normal appearance may have said to her, “Here is someone who cares about his appearance and wants to look his best.” Thus all the options were offered to facilitate that assumption. In my case, when I meet with the designated random stylist, my appearance portends that I have given up on good looks a long time ago, and a little color or great brows are not going to save me. Just saying….😁

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    1. Ithink it’s more likely that the situation you describe is the exact opposite. One look at me and she thought – this guy needs help. You roll up on your Harley and all the stylists are just swooning… 🙂

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  10. Haha you have a ton of patience, that’s for sure… I feel like at some point I would have just looked at her and in a way that would make her understand I would not be answering further questions of the same nature lol but I’m not the nicest person when I’ve run out of patience lol

    Funnily enough I’m getting my first haircut this morning! 🙂 wish me luck!

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  11. You’re fortunate with your eyebrows. I need to trim mine about every three weeks unless I plan to do a combover with the excess hair. Something is seriously wrong with those follicles.

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  13. Sounds to me like she was trying to give you more than one kind of haircut. But at least she maintained a pleasant demeanor after hearing all your no’s. I never get this kind of hard sale when I get my haircut, because my wife has been cutting my hair for thirty years now. She’s a retired beautician. But she does trim my eyebrows, moustache, beard, and nose hairs. It isn’t much fun, but I’ve learned not to argue with her about these things.

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  16. I’m learning to cut my own hair and haven’t been to a barber (chain franchise) in over a year. Being retired, my appearance is unimportant.
    The ladies at the chain I went to always new how I wanted my hair cut even if I’d never used them before. I guess my haircut preferences are stored in perpetuity on a server somewhere.

    Employees with sales incentives can be annoying as this episode points out. Airlines give flight attendants bonuses for selling the airline credit card on board. Usually its just one announcement. Sometimes it gets obnoxious.

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    1. At some point I may learn to cut my own hair, seems like a nice way to save some money.

      and should I be embarrassed to admit that I signed up for one of those credit cards on an airline flight? 🙂

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  17. ooh, boy, she was ready for you. I’m sure you’re right, there is a financial or free product reward for the upsell. people who are more experienced can read the customer and see they’re not responding, but maybe she was just going for it and trying every possibility ,hoping one would stick. next time you go in, say ‘no, but I’d like a nice leg wax.’ this may stop the verbal flow, or, you may end up with a leg wax. you have to weigh if it’s a gamble worth taking .

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    1. I think this lady would have taken me up on the leg awx, and it would not have been a gamble I would be interested in taking 🙂

      All I can think of is that scene from 40-Year Old Virgin…

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