Could This Be a Sign I’ve Matured?

business, family, humor, lessons learned 1 Minute

 

Short answer – probably not.

But…

I had to go to the bank today, and since the lobby was not open, I had to use the drive-thru.

There were three lanes open, and a car was already in one of the lanes, so I pulled into one of the empty ones. The teller turned on her speaker, but all that came out was a lot of static, so I just yelled that I was there to make a deposit.

Twenty-seven minutes later, I finally completed the transaction.

Between waiting on the person in the other car, not having a functioning vacuum tube, and disappearing for close to 10 minutes a couple of times, it turned into a nightmare of a visit.

In a normal situation, my transaction should have taken less than a minute.

So as I sat there waiting, I could just feel my anger building up, thinking of exactly what I was going to say once the transaction was completed.

But when my receipt finally made it back to my car through the now functioning vacuum tube, all I decided to say was “Thank you”, and I drove off.

I don’t know what came over me at the last moment and enabled me to avoid saying what was on my mind.

Perhaps it was because the following thoughts started running through my mind:

  • the teller had probably been at work since 9:00 in the morning, and now it was 6:00.
  • The teller was also wearing a mask and probably had been all day.
  • The bank looked extremely short-handed, so it was certainly possible it had been a busy day for the teller.

In other words, I had somehow managed to put myself in the teller’s shoes, and it made a difference in how I reacted (well, at least externally) to the situation.

So not only did that my reaction spare the teller from whatever my obnoxious comment was going to be, it made me feel better as well.

So I guess there is something to this whole “empathy” thing.

And maybe it’s the first step towards growing up…

 

Published by Jim Borden

A 60-something guy trying to figure out the world, and his place in it. Happily married for 40-plus years, three wonderful sons. Accounting teacher, fitness enthusiast, blogger, reader.

Published

46 thoughts on “Could This Be a Sign I’ve Matured?”

  1. Hi Jim! Yes, I was close to getting sassy with someone from the credit union myself. It was all being done online, but it seemed like the simplest thing was moving along way too slow. I also stopped myself. I realized I was actually sitting in the comfort of my own home and she was in an office with a mask on, probably short staffed… etc., etc., with the COVID issues. I ended up chatting with her for quite a while. It’s those damn patterns. I haven’t had an office work schedule for 10 plus years yet I still catch myself speeding, rushing people, etc. Anyway… and here I am filling your comments with my own nonsense ha-ha. These are strange times and we need to look at everything from new angles! Congrats on being nice!!

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    1. thanks, Janet! And I’m like you, always wanting to get things done as quickly as possible, and when that doesn’t happen, I get frustrated. But if we can just pause for a moment, like we did yesterday, then we can usually put things in their proper perspective!

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  2. Oh that is a long time to wait, but I am sure the teller is so thankful that you didn’t go off on her and it probably made you feel better as you drove away as well. 🙂 I have had to wait longer at the bank too when in the drive thru but like you said, I am so thankful I don’t have to wear a mask 8 hours a day!

    Good for you in keeping calm. I had to laugh when I saw your title. I smiled and said to myself. “probably not!” and then I read your first line. LOL! 🙂

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    1. It seems as if we are able to keep things in perspective, it makes for a more pleasant experience for everyone involved. And as for the title, you seem to know me well… 🙂

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  3. It’s not growing up. Just maturity and understanding. Age got nothing much to do with it. A ten year old might be more mature and understanding than some selfish idiots in their twenties.
    What you did is the sweetest thing. Although, I totally get how infurating it is to wait so long for something which would normally take a short time.

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      1. Yeah well, I’ve tried that. It doesn’t work well for me, but maybe it will for you. I think if we didn’t feel angry now and then, we’d be dead robots. We just have to be careful how we express our anger.

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      5. It’s all your fault…just saying! 🙂
        My first “super short story” for today was inspired by this post. Certain stooges found it confusing! You may need to explain it!

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    1. You’re right, John. It just wasn’t worth it, and in hindsight, if just saying thank you made me feel better, that seems like a much better way to feel better than by insulting someone…

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  6. Good for you! I certainly get the frustration, but there could have been plenty of rational explanations for why it took so long. Lighting into her might have been the straw that broke the camel’s back for her. Imagine if she had something terrible going on in her life that was already causing her great stress. Empathy is such an underrated attribute.

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  8. you had time to think, boy did you have time, and instead of a knee-jerk reaction to being kept waiting, you acted from the heart, understanding there might be a reason for all of the time it took. your empathy won the day.

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    1. you hit the nail on the head. I think the extra couple of minutes of waiting helped me put things in perspective and take the high road. So in a weird way, the longer wait was actually a good thing… 🙂

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  11. Yes, Jim, you did the right thing in this situation. I never get upset when this sort of thing happens and it isn’t the fault of the person providing the service. I do get angry when bad service is a result of laziness, bad attitude and sloppiness.

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  15. I’m glad you were able to be empathetic and think of the teller. I totally understand how frustrating the situation must have been for you but I’m sure it’s not easy for those working there as well.

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  16. I’m amazed you still have drive through tellers. I’ve only seen that in America. The first time in 1978 when I was in New Jersey. We can do cash deposits into an ATM which is much easier than waiting in a queue. I’m sure you made her day by not being rude and saying what you felt.

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    1. I’m surprised we still have bank offices, since it seems virtually everything can be handled online and with an ATM. I don’t know if I made her day, but it made my day by knowing I acted the right way…

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