Coming Soon to a Bathroom Near You – the Forever Roll XXXL?

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Let’s face it, toilet paper math is hard.

How is anyone supposed to make sense of all those numbers that appear on toilet paper packages?

But apparently there’s something even more troubling than toilet paper math.

I guess you would call it toilet paper etiquette.

The Wall Street Journal has a cover story (that’s right, a front-page story) about how upset families get when someone does not replace an empty toilet paper roll with a new one.

I’ll admit I’ve been guilty of this on occasion, simply placing the new roll of toilet paper on top of the old one.

What can I say, I’m a lazy busy guy.

And I am far from alone.

Procter & Gamble research found in a March survey of 2,015 adults that 85% of U.S. adults agree that walking into a bathroom with an empty toilet paper roll is one of the most frustrating bathroom scenarios (I’d be curious what the other frustrating scenarios might be).

Rob Reinerman, innovation director for P&G family care, says, “with families what we hear is that it actually creates ill feelings toward other people in the house.”

Wow, over an empty roll of toilet paper.

Well Charmin, made by P&G, is trying to address the issue. Earlier this year it came out with its Forever Roll, which is 12 inches in diameter. A normal roll is about 4 inches in diameter.

This thing is huge. Here’s another image.

The Forever roll is designed to last about two to three weeks.

But even that didn’t satisfy people.

Charmin has now come out with the Forever XL, which at 13.2 inches in diameter offers 50% more sheets than the original (there’s that crazy toilet paper math again; P&G claims that the XL is equivalent to 36 rolls). A roll of XL toilet paper weighs about three pounds.

Now, people might get a month out of one roll of toilet paper.

And if you’re thinking how would you fit this on your toilet paper holder, let me just first say, I’m worried about you if you were actually thinking about that.

Fortunately, the people at P&G did think about this. A starter kit for the XL, which includes two rolls of toilet paper, costs $29.97 and includes a stand (shown above) or wall mount.

Of course, it doesn’t solve the problem of someone leaving an empty toilet paper roll on the stand, it’s just delaying the inevitable.

So this clip from the show Mad About You from 25 years ago is still relevant today, even if someone creates the Forever XXXL.

But the XXXL might make the math a bit easier: one roll = a ****load of toilet paper.

*Last two images from Hip2Save

Published by Jim Borden

A 60-something guy trying to figure out the world, and his place in it. Happily married for 40-plus years, three wonderful sons. Accounting teacher, fitness enthusiast, blogger, reader.

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7 thoughts on “Coming Soon to a Bathroom Near You – the Forever Roll XXXL?”

  1. I can understand the minor annoyance of not having toilet paper on the roll, but then there is this—I used to work with two different people who had strong opinions about whether the toilet paper should come over the top or under the top of the roll. Frankly, I never gave it any thought before. They both were so stubborn about this concept that I always knew who had been in the bathroom when the direction shifted. I guess I have more important things to worry about than what direction the toilet paper is going. 😎

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  2. Ha ha! I need to go through the archives of Borden’s Blather.

    I feel like we need to change a couple of lines to The Night Before Christmas, Jim. Rather than “The stockings were hung by the chimney with care,” it should be, “The toilet paper was hung on the roller with care because Santa doesn’t want it backwards if he ends up there.” Not quite the right meter and tempo, but you get the gist.

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