I came back from our trip to London a few pounds above my ideal weight, and so I set a goal for myself to lose the extra pounds by June 1.
And I’m here to report that I’ve had mixed results.
I’ve actually gained three pounds in the three weeks we’ve been home, and while that certainly was not my intention, I always try to look on the bright side of things. And what I realized is that over the past three weeks, I’ve become an expert at how to gain weight. And so I’ve decided to copyright the idea and market my weight gaining method to the less than two percent of the U.S. population that is considered underweight.
But as a reward to my loyal readers, I thought I’d share some of the key techniques that make up BDALPGW® The Borden Diet and Lifestyle Program for Gaining Weight©
- When out grocery shopping, do not skip the snack aisle. This is the aisle that will play a key role in your weight gain. Pick up multiple bags of potato chips, pretzels, tostito chips, soda, oreos, etc. Just be sure to check the ingredients to verify that the food is vegan. If it is, then it qualifies as a healthy snack.
- Store the snacks in easy to reach places, spots that you walk past several times a day. Such a location makes it more likely that you will partake of the snacks multiple times throughout the day
- Tell yourself that the best way to treat the mild soreness that you have is through rest. This means you have to avoid as much exercise and other forms of movement as you can.
- When you feel like you are ready to start exercising again, be sure to pick the right day to start your program. In reality, Mondays are always the best day to start. Along with that, it is always best to start an exercise program on the first day of hte month. So wait to start your program until there is a month that starts on a Monday. While you are waiting for that day, you have free rein to put as much abuse on your body as you want; it’s like a really long Fat Tuesday. That means lots of doughnuts (vegan of course), beer, and oreos (yes, they are vegan)
- Sleep as late as you can each day.
- Before going to bed, hit the snack cabinet, heavy.
- Start asking for extra sugar in your coffee from Dunkin’ Donuts
- Drive everywhere, especially keep this in mind for places you may have previously walked to, like your mailbox.
- Try to work at home as much as you can, so that you have 24/7 access to the snacks. And put your eating habits on a schedule. For example, when writing my blog, after every paragraph or bullet point, I reward myself with a trip to the snack cabinet and grab a handful of whatever there is. I’ll be right back.
- I love Oreos.
- Heed every experts’ warning about starting your exercise program slowly. Try not to break out a sweat from any form of exercise for at least the first six months of your program.
- Sign up for the biggest cable tv package you can find. Having something to do while sitting on the couch makes the process much more bearable.
- Get a friend to do the program with you. Set challenges for each other, such as who will be the first one to pop a button on their pants, or who can walk the fewest steps for a given day.
This is just a small sample of the thousands of techniques available to you for your weight-gaining journey.
Just hit the subscribe button to gain full access to my complete program.
BDALPGW® comes with a full money-back guarantee that you will gain weight. If you do not, then you need to look in the mirror and ask yourself if you really want this. No one can help you gain weight except you.
If you need some more personal attention, I am available 24/7 to stop by with a dozen doughnuts and a six pack of your favorite beer to help you get back on the right track.
Just remember, this program works. There are over 200 million Americans who have successfully used it, even though they may not be aware of it…